Conscious Sanity

Letting go of the person you used to be

2011-12-06T14:38:00.000-05:00

I’ve mentioned this before, and I’m sure I’ll mention it again, but a huge component of change is remembering to let it happen.

Change, by the way, is inevitable. If it’s involuntary (or someone else’s idea), resisting it can be downright painful.

But a lot of times we resist changing even when we say that’s what we want, and sometimes the resistance is almost unconscious. We simply forget to let go of the person we used to be.

For example, as noted yesterday, you might have an intention of living love. But there’s this little part of you that is either afraid or … well, afraid to actually love (tomorrow: trust). So we fall back in the habit of judgment, as though being critical protects us. Take the homeless person begging for change on the corner. When I started tonglen practice, I found this was an easy place for me to start, although it got tougher when I stopped making up stories about why he was there. Regardless, many of us find it safer to judge him for being there. Not necessarily negatively—judgment is just another word for making up stories.

At any rate, remembering to practice, just as with any other change, involves letting go of the person who didn’t practice. Getting up at 5:30 in the morning to write involves letting go of the person who slept until seven. Quitting smoking means letting go of being the person who reaches for a cigarette.

And so forth.

One practice to bring in here is to consciously let go of that person with a breath. Acknowledge that at this moment, you might want to be that person, but you don’t have to be. Acknowledge that you aren’t the same person you were ten years ago (no one is), and then release being the person you were five minutes ago.

Expansion = love

2011-12-05T10:35:00.000-05:00

If you practice, and then pay attention, you can feel your heart expanding.

Yup. Just like the Grinch.

It’s a neat trick, and I highly recommend it. It starts by actively practicing love, and actively practicing joy, which I will admit can be tough sometimes. Feel free to start with the easy moments and work your way up to the tough ones.

Aside from having to remember to practice (more on this tomorrow), this is far easier than it sounds, though. Active love and active joy involve taking time to step back and find those things in ordinary circumstances. It also means taking time to step back and release—or simply fail to attach to—those moments that don’t promote love and joy.

Instead, attach to expansiveness. Not in the sense that it becomes an addiction, because therein lies a danger of attaching instead to repelling those things that fall the other way, but rather in the sense that you automatically seek the expansiveness, inclusive of love, joy, and compassion, in every moment.

Love is expansive. Remember your tonglen practice—we breathe in that which is tight, painful, anguished; we breathe out the space of love, which feels like space, feels expansive and glowing. In the hardest of circumstances, in the most mundane of tensions, in the most ordinary exhaustion, we can still take a single breath that begins to turn things around. But…the practice isn’t in order to turn things around. The practice is to bring all of those experiences into our practice of experiencing life as love. In other words, we don’t do this for an external goal (if I practice breathing love and expansiveness into everything, my life will become problem-free), we do it because the goal (in this case) is the practice of love—and trust me, your life won’t suddenly become problem-free! I’ve found, though, that when problems arise, they’re a lot less stressful, which is an excellent bonus.

Weekend practice: back to synchronicity

2011-09-23T08:00:00.001-04:00

What happens when synchronicity doesn't pan out? That is, you have this intention, or this desire, or even a big fat clue, and seemingly synchronous events are happening, and they aren't going anywhere? Now what? You're meeting people, ideas are popping, suggestions are flowing in from multiple sources, and ....nothing.

You know what? I'm not going to tell you what I think. I'm going to ask you what YOU think.

When stuff starts glowing

2011-09-22T08:00:00.001-04:00

Saturday's major synchronicity—and this relates directly to yesterday's closing paragraph—was this: I was reading a book, and, because I'm in the middle of three on similar topics, I don't remember which one it was...something by Sanaya Roman. An exercise in this book had to do with imagining yourself infused with light, and imagining the objects around you infused with the same light. Then I went off to teach dream interpretation. I got to my location and because I was a little early, checked my Twitter feed. There was a tweet by Marianne Williamson (@marwilliamson—in case you want to follow her) suggesting imagining this same practice: infusing objects around you with light as a daily practice, throughout the day. Looks like I'm on to something. Today (I admit, this is Sunday), Hiro Boga (@hiroboga), as I'm checking to make sure I have Marianne Williamson's Twitter ID correct, is tweeting about letting your soul's presence radiate...which is also key to this practice that I've been doing. Huh. I follow these two brilliant women on Twitter for very different reasons, although the reason I'm drawn to them out of all the choices is much the same, so when they're talking about two angles of the same thing I'm investigating through someone completely different....I'm listening.

And looking to see what glows in resonance.

Resonance and synchronicity

2011-09-21T08:00:00.001-04:00

Events update: don't forget, In Your Dreams is tonight at 7pm at 1412 Trovillion in Winter Park. Email me if you need parking information.

An event: a meeting, a piece of information, an option, an idea that is synchronous has a sort of energy about it. If you've seen the movie version of Celestine Prophecy, you may remember the scenes where things start glowing as the hero is drawn to the synchronicities that further his intentions. As a rule, when you're walking around town, you probably aren't going to see things lighting up (but see tomorrow's post), and when you're looking for synchronicities, you're paying attention to a lot of different things: instinct pulling you strongly in one direction, even though you'd planned to do something else; a chance sentence in an overheard conversation that makes you listen a little harder; dreams that seem important, even if you can't put your finger on why.

Imagine that that energy is radiating just a bit stronger because it's resonating with your intention. So whether you see it or feel it, you're tapping in because—well, I was going to compare it to a telephone that's on a party line, but then I feel old...so let's go with a search engine. You type in what you're looking for, and results are returned, the most relevant ones (or at least the ones the search engine THINKS are the most relevant) at the top. That's synchronicity (although in this case, it's manufactured synchronicity. True synchronicity would be getting a search result that gives you an answer to a question you didn't think you'd get from a computer search engine.).

On a deeper level, synchronicity brings to us events, people, ideas, and suggestions that answer bigger questions (like: why am I here, what's my soul purpose, how can I heal?) because while intention may be involved, these bigger questions relate to soul purpose, and thus the answers resonate on a soul level.

Resonance, not rejection

2011-09-20T08:00:00.001-04:00

Several years ago, reading Jack Canfield's Success Principles, I came across this gem of advice: there is no such thing as rejection.

Sure. How does that work, again?

Well, if I remember Canfield's proposition correctly, the idea is this: we ask someone for a favor, or we ask someone on a date, or we send off that treasured manuscript or ask for advice about putting into practice a fabulous idea that will change the world (if we only knew what to do with it!), or what-have-you. And we get a 'no.' Even if it isn't accompanied by hysterical laughter, it might as well be. We're crushed. (Most of us are. Or we've been there at least once. Or we simply don't care what others think, in which case we're probably undiagnosed sociopaths and have another set of problems. Everyone's got issues. But I digress.) The thing is, we get that 'no' and we feel like we've lost something, but Canfield points out that you can't lose something you never had, so when you present the idea or invitation, the only thing 'no' does is keep you from moving forward in the way you imagined at exactly that time with that person.

Okay. I guess that works. Kind of hard to keep in mind, though, when your brain is spinning with multiple voicings of the word 'but.'

Last week, several of us were discussing our visions and how we were bringing them into being at the latest CFES meetup. One of our group had given us a visual that reflected how soul resonance might work—how we're drawn to people who resonate with us, and perhaps we merge our paths for a time, or maybe we're drawn to people for just a moment, before going on our separate ways.

And it hit me: if we can hold a vision of soul resonance, of understanding that we're drawn to each other for different times and different reasons, how might that change our feelings of being rejected, of lack, of loss? Imagine being so in touch with your soul's purpose, that you recognize that there is also purpose in every action, every meeting—and that "rejection" is just a sign that your soul isn't resonating with that person, that action. It may be that what you are doing or feeling or seeking is exactly right, but the timing isn't lining up just so, or the other people involved are resonating at a frequency that's just slightly off balance from you...so you can appreciate what is, instead of needing it to be all-important, or needing it to be what you originally thought it was.

This week's practice: acting on synchronicity

2011-09-19T08:00:00.001-04:00

A couple of weeks ago, a friend suggested I take a particular action in regards to my interest in soul families: in essence, asking to attract more of my soul family into my daily life, and seeing what happened. It didn't occur to me until this past Saturday that several things that came into my life over the past week or ten days were directly related to the nature of my request. Because what happened isn't really the point, suffice it to say that I had a couple of resources fall into my lap, met a couple of really interesting people, and found some new practices and insights into how we can manifest our vision of the world that is becoming into the world that is.

So....now what?

Happens a lot, doesn't it? A synchronous event occurs, we are aware of it, and...we let it drop, because while the idea of synchronicity is really cool, there are any number of reasons to let it go. We're afraid to talk to that person we've run into three times in the past week (especially if we don't know them!), we hesitate to ask for a favor or the support that could result in the resources to act on the opportunity that's clearly knocking, we're afraid that...well, we're afraid. Of looking foolish, of being wrong, of all sorts of things. Sometimes, we just don't know what the next step is.

This week's practice, for me, is to find a way to move forward, even if it's the smallest of baby steps.

This week's practice: miracles

2011-09-13T08:56:00.000-04:00

This week's practice: miracles. Noticing them, accepting them.

But what's a miracle? And how do you see them? Do you see them only when they're big and obvious, and happening to someone else? Or somewhere else? What I'm getting at is this: do you only see miracles as an observer (and I don't mean observer in the Buddhist sense), and if you see them when they're engaging you, what do they involve? Money? Lucky escapes?

I think that when we look for miracles, we may or may not see more of them, but by bringing awareness to what we think are miracles, we may find out something about ourselves in the process.

I'm taking a page out of a friend's book (so to speak) and starting a 100 day miracle project. One miracle a day expected and noted (I have a miraculous Moleskine notebook set aside for this project).

But inquiring minds want to know: what do you see as a miracle?

Accepting uncertainty: taking it off the cushion

2011-09-07T08:38:00.002-04:00

One of the things we learn through meditation is how to sit with change. Thoughts arise and float away. Aches and pains arise, and then disappear when we release the discomfort and come back to the breath. Nothing is permanent.

Accepting impermanence, off the cushion, we're able to step back from conversations (with ourselves or others) and situations and breathe into the fact that they aren't permanent either. Even if you're stuck in traffic on I-4 at rush hour and it feels that way. We come back to the breath, and observe as the emotions we're holding release, and the situation becomes fluid. It does that, even if we try to hold on to it.

Accepting impermanence off the cushion—that is, that impermanence is the state whether we're meditating or not—we then can recognize that uncertainty is a part of impermanence.

Accepting that uncertainty is part of impermanence, we can accept it as part of the dharma—the practice off the cushion—and we can ease into NOT having to have a road map for every thing we're doing. We can accept that there's this "yes, do this" from Divine Source, and that we may not know every bit of how it's going to play out just now.

Accepting Power

2011-09-06T08:35:00.000-04:00

So what happens when we are told we CAN do something?

A lot of people react more positively to negative attention: that is, tell them they cannot do something and they'll try everything they can think of, and then invent more ways, to prove you wrong. Right now, that's not who (or what) I'm talking about. I'm talking about those times you, in meditation, contemplation, or prayer, get a resounding "yes," and then proceed to prove the Divine wrong.

This happens less when we're looking for an answer to a question we can—and probably already have—logically answer, and more when we're being asked to break out of our current paradigm and shift into someone we don't think we've ever been before: a healer, a leader, a teacher (without a lesson plan), an artist (a writer!) who changes lives and changes reality. It's not necessarily a question of self-esteem, although it certainly can be. I think it's deeper than that: it's the idea that we don't think we're anyone special or significant and that making those kinds of changes requires that we be so.

Again, this may not be an issue of self-esteem: you may consider yourself absolutely brilliant at any number of things except this one thing you've been called to. So when you feel that yearning to do something, you reject the first things that come to mind because they're not practical, or you think you're not psychic enough, or trained enough, or have enough training, or enough spiritual practice, or whatever. And when you meditate, you hear "this is right," and then immediately react with "I'm making this up." (I am the queen of thinking I've made stuff up, so I know whereof I write.)

But this week, we're practicing acceptance. Don't bother trying to talk yourself into it. Just accept it. Now what?

This week's practice: acceptance

2011-09-05T11:06:00.000-04:00

Note: scroll down to Sept. 2 post for upcoming events

It seems like a lot of the discussion around the idea of "acceptance" focuses on accepting the negative: obstacles, "no," etc. The idea in most people's minds seems to be that we need help going with the flow when it (the flow) isn't going the way of our expectations. Which is often true.

But that's not what I'm talking about here—or at least, not entirely.

What about accepting what we say we want, but aren't at all sure we can have (or deserve to have)?

When I was teaching Practical Magic (visualization class), I would tell my students that my first rule of manifestation was to be careful what you ask for, because you ARE going to get it. The tricky part is recognizing it.

One of the challenges with accepting a "yes" is that it doesn't always fit our expectations, although that's not always because we made assumptions that didn't play out. More often, I think, it's because we never really thought it would happen, and we aren't prepared.

This week's posts will all be about acceptance, so feel free to weigh in with comments here or on the Facebook page whenever you like (www.facebook.com/ConsciousSanity).

Upcoming events

2011-09-02T23:46:00.001-04:00

In Your Dreams!

Dreams can be:

Interesting…frustrating…alive…forgotten…confusing…fascinating

This 2+ hour workshop is a highly interactive adventure in exploration and interpretation. We’ll discover the meaning of your dreams (and why those dream books just aren’t much help), dig into ways to consciously explore your dream world, use your dreams for communication with your highest self, get answers to your questions, and more. We’ll also overview the types of dreams, dream purpose, and lucid dreaming. Depending on the number of participants, workshop will run 2 – 2 ½ hours. $20

Two opportunities in September:

Saturday, September 17, 4 pm

Avalon, 1211 Hillcrest, Orlando

Wednesday, September 21, 7pm

1412 Trovillion Ave, Winter Park

(Trovillion is the side street on the south side of ABC Fine Wine & Spirits on 17-92 across from Winter Park Village). If you’ll be attending this one, please RSVP for parking information.

RSVP or questions to Lorena Streeter: conscioussanity@gmail.com

Also, my Tuesday evenings are now booked into the foreseeable future (and I hope you'll join me!). I'll be facilitating a couple of groups at Spiral Circle's Annex (Spiral Circle is on Thornton Ave and Park Lake St--just off Colonial and Mills in Orlando) three Tuesdays each month, at 7 pm. These groups are free to attend, but donations to the cause (aka "love donations") are gratefully accepted.

General info:
2nd and 4th Tuesdays: Central Florida Energy Shift Meetup. Exploring the changes our world is currently experiencing, and how we make conscious, spirit-based, changes toward that vision—whatever your vision is—of the “future.” Topics change, and I'll keep them updated here.Once I figure out a good way to do it, upcoming events will appear on the sidebar. 7 pm

1st Tuesday: Dreaming into being. Creating conscious change in our lives and the world through dreams, spiritual journeys and our own energy systems (including the chakras). Topics will change each month. 7pm

Specifically, the next few look like this:
September 13 and 27: Central Florida Energy Shift (CFES) Meetup: What is your vision for our evolving world? How are you bringing it into being in your own life?

October 4: Dreaming into being. What are you dreaming? Dream interpretation and practice with conscious dreaming.

If you have any questions, email me at conscioussanity@gmail.com.

Forgiveness, part III

2011-04-26T10:41:00.000-04:00

Note: (yes, I know, I should just put this over on the side) I am not a therapist, nor a health professional. I am a meditation teacher, Reiki master, and energy worker, and I focus on spiritual blocks. I do know that spiritual shifts/energy shifts can result in physical and emotional healing, but not in all cases (for a variety of reasons). Do not use any of the information I give you as a substitute for consulting with a health professional (physical or mental), social services professional, or law enforcement when appropriate. Re the present topic, it means that yes, if that cute guy you met at that party who offered you a ride home raped you, or the next door neighbor's teenaged daughter killed your dog, call the cops. Forgive, but prosecute.

Okay, where were we?

How do we forgive? And how do we know when we've forgiven? We recognize forgiveness when we realize there's no emotional attachment to the injury.

That is what forgiveness feels like: no emotional attachment. We simply aren't angry any more, or hurt, no matter how hard we try.

Let me just say this: if the wound is raw, you might need to do some other healing before you start on the path to forgiveness. In fact, it's likely that you'll experience the two on alternating days—a little healing leading to a little forgiveness, etc. Healing creates objectivity and the ability to be loving and compassionate (because you have the strength to be vulnerable all over again), and that gives you the strength to forgive, and forgiveness gives you space to breathe. I don't suggest trying to forgive no matter what—I think you have to do it when you're ready: when your brain says "I'm not a victim," and you're almost as mad at yourself for letting it still get to you.

I think there are about three steps to forgiveness—which isn't to say you can just check them off. Sometimes you'll find you need a lot of time (or maybe only a little) for each one, and you'll need meditation, contemplation, prayer, and imagination to do them. Forgiveness is frequently active (sometimes you'll find that you forgave something without even thinking about it, just through other things you're doing. Remember, you recognize it when you realize there is no emotional attachment to the injury. Can't even call your ex a sonofabitch and mean it.) There are other things that masquerade as forgiveness, of course, but it's up to you to decide: I trust you to be working on shifting out of old patterns and into new, or you wouldn't be here.

So here are the basic steps to active forgiveness:

• Realizing that forgiveness is not the same as agreement. Forgiveness stands on its own, and is not something you need to feel guilty about, no matter how heinous the offense or how unrepentant the perpetrator. Got nothing to do with either of them. This is about you healing.

• Realizing that everyone is doing the best they know how to do. Doesn't matter if you think they should have done it differently, should have been more enlightened, should have known you weren't the bad guy, shouldn't have taken out their pain on you. It's important to know that whatever they did wasn't about you—it was about them. Whatever the karma involved, whatever the complicating factors, if your husband beat you, it wasn't because you were a bad wife (even if you were). If your parents tied you to a radiator, it wasn't because you were a uncontrollable hooligan, even if you were (and that was the only way they knew to restrain you and keep you safe). If your mother's new boyfriend raped you when you were 13, it wasn't because you were a tramp. If your dad yelled at you for not cleaning your room, if the bullies at school beat you up for being different (however they defined it), it wasn't because of anything you did – it was because something (and not necessarily you) triggered a core of pain in them, and they were either striking out or walling up to protect themselves. By the way, it's also important to realize that you, too, were and are doing the best you knew how. The process works both ways.

• Letting go. Walk away from it. This is the part that probably takes the most meditation and prayer. Releasing your part (whatever you feel about having "caused" whatever happened) and releasing their part from you (it wasn't about you, it was about them). I admit, this is the part where I feel like the scientist in front of the blackboard where in the middle of the equation appear the words "here, a miracle happens." What I know is that when you practice letting go, eventually it happens.

Practicing letting go Our mind and body are marvelously entangled. We can imagine physical changes into being, and we can use physical sensation and action to create energetic and spiritual change. One of the best physical practices for letting go is this: get quiet. Put on some peaceful music if it helps, but it isn't necessary. Make yourself comfortable and if you want, close your eyes. Bring up a picture of the hurt you're trying to forgive. Don't dwell on it—that can just strengthen the tie, which is NOT the point. Simply hold the picture and allow yourself to feel whatever it is you feel: anger, hurt, fear, pain. Find the place in your body where that emotion is being held (frequently the chest, which is the seat of grief). You're likely to experience hot and tight as the primary physical sensations—like you're holding back tears, perhaps. Whatever the feeling is and wherever it is, the release is very simple: breathe into this spot. Imagine that the in breath goes directly to this place. On the out breath, relax. Imagine that with each breath out you have a little more room for the breathing. If you need to cry, do. If you're willing, dig a little—what are you feeling NOW? Perhaps over time anger has changed to grief, and you've spent years battling the wrong emotion. Perhaps you've already let go, and were just carrying around the memory. Do this as long as necessary. When you get up, wash your hands and drink some water to help seal off the breaking of those ties. In fact, if it helps, you can imagine ropes around whatever part of your body that hurts, and each breath in and out weakens (and finally breaks) those ties.

The art (and value) of forgiveness, part II

2011-04-22T18:27:00.000-04:00

But how does this happen? Well, I can't say, exactly, what triggers complete forgiveness except practice. For me, every act of forgiveness has been a one-off. I can let go of some things--most things--immediately. Deeper wounds exist for all of us, though, unless we've already gone through the process or are somehow blessed beyond the norm. It has been part of our human experience. But the point at which I know I've released it (whatever it is) is when it crosses my mind, and I can't conjure up the pain. The process, to one degree or another, involves giving love and compassion--not just to that person, but to myself, and to others--the nice thing about compassion and love is that feeling them toward one person aids you in feeling them to all.

But .... okay, let's take a really tough example: a child who grew up in foster care under the worst possible circumstances. This was not my experience, so I freely admit I'm imagining how bad it can be. I can also imagine how hard it could be to forgive all the people who may have hurt that child--from the parent who abandoned them, to all the people who weren't there to do what adults are supposed to do (protect, nurture, model, etc), to all the people who WERE there, and the things they did. Wow. How do you forgive that?

I think, perhaps, you start with realizing that forgiveness is NOT the same as saying that what happened was okay, or had a purpose, or was a lesson you asked to learn, or anything like that. You do have to get to a place where you understand that, like it or not, everyone is doing the best they know how to do. Really. But you don't have to agree with their actions, and you certainly don't have to condone them. Nor, as I mentioned earlier, is there any inherent need to confront the person you're trying to forgive, or to try to make them feel better. In fact, maybe part of your process includes a career choice that changes that scenario so it doesn't hurt anyone else.

At its heart, whatever the process includes, forgiveness embraces both selfishness and unselfishness at the same time. Selfish, because forgiveness is about YOU. It's about you moving on, releasing the weight of the pain, giving yourself the opportunity to NOT be a victim. Failing to forgive is all about claiming victimhood. Kind of makes you cringe when you view it that way, doesn't it?

Unselfish, because to do it, you have to embrace compassion and understanding. As you release the weight of the past from you, you're also releasing THEM from it. This may or may not matter—one lesson I learned during a particularly difficult forgiveness process was that the other person may not realize there's anything to forgive. And that's when you realize that the need to confront may be less about forgiveness than it is about ego. If you can let go first of the need to let the other person know you forgive them, that's huge as well. And if that realization brings up anger, go ahead and sit with the anger. Sit with whatever feelings come up. But sit with purpose.

(to be continued with what comes next)

The art of forgiveness, part I

2011-04-20T07:29:00.001-04:00

The more I thought about last night's Facebook comment (on the Conscious Sanity page), the more I felt like I needed to expand it. The post was this: Thinking about forgiveness today, and how new people coming into our lives sometimes give us a chance to heal old wounds by allowing us to address situations without the same emotional baggage.

Or, at any rate, we can allow them to. So part of this, perhaps, is the value of meditation, and becoming present in other ways. But back to forgiveness....

If you are used to holding on too tightly, forgiveness can be challenging. Sometimes it can feel like you're being a victim all over again, just thinking about it (a sure sign you haven't forgiven or let go of anything!). Sometimes, something truly horrible happened--even if it was only an instant in time; sometimes it was something that went on for years--and it can feel like forgiveness means, somehow, that the behavior was okay.

None of the above. Forgiveness is an act of compassion toward yourself, as well as the other person. And I think that when we set ourselves on a course of becoming present in our lives, of opening up, that we close down in a hurry when something happens to remind us of how we hurt in the past. So when we feel that we need to figure out this forgiveness thing, it's a sign that we're healing on a deep level, because we're saying it's time to let go of that, too--if we only could figure out how! Too, the things that need forgiven vary widely from person to person--perhaps the act to be forgiven was something like a parent who demanded you choose a particular career. To one person (probably someone who didn't have that demand made), that may not be important. To the person who found their soul's purpose at odds with their life for decades on end, it's huge, and mixed up with a boat load of other emotions, including the need to forgive oneself for "giving in."

Sometimes, forgiving cannot include the words "I forgive you," either because the person is unavailable, or because you just don't want to be face to face with them. I disagree with the premise that you must somehow get the words out (such as in a letter). In fact, I think the words are unnecessary, although if you feel they are absolutely necessary for you, then by all means use them. But forgiving is a release, and I think release is NOT triggered, or completed, by facing down someone you don't want to face. What does trigger or complete it is a simple letting go of the emotional baggage you've been carrying, and turning the energy toward something more useful to you at this time. Certainly the pain and anger were useful to you once, but if you're thinking about it and struggling with how to forgive, you're ready to let go.

To be continued....but for now, consider this: when someone or something comes into your life in the present, do you react as you've always reacted? Or can you take a moment and a step back, and ask yourself if perhaps they're there for your healing?

Letting go of control

2011-04-13T08:00:00.001-04:00

Those of you who've read CP will recognize this issue in the 4th insight--the one about our "control dramas." But I want to take a big step away from that. In other words, don't forget everything you've read, but consider that it might not be THE game changer. It's not really about HOW you want to control things, rather THAT you want to control them. It's hard, and it's scary, to give up control sometimes, especially when it comes to walking away from an argument, or a dream....

It's because we think we're right. Of course we do. NO one really walks around saying "I'm going to win this argument, because I'm wrong." (Okay, maybe some people do, but we're talking about in semi-enlightened moments, here.) We think we're right, and we think our vision is right, and so we want people to see things our way. Doesn't matter, really, if it's an argument with our lover or an argument with an opposing political or cultural view. (You think you tolerate everyone and everything? Give it a try. $10 says less than 10 minutes gets you to something that punches a control button.) I don't know that this necessarily is a bad thing. I think that often, people who claim that truth is relative and everyone's point of view should carry equal weight are kidding themselves about how they really see the world. (The Dalai Lama and a few others may be an exception to this rule.) However, this isn't really the point. As I said above, it's not about how we want to be in control, but about THAT we do...and how do we walk away from that with our sense of self intact?

This is one reason we practice awareness, and we practice being connected to Source.

Being in control keeps us from being present. When we're worried about being in control, we're staying a step ahead of the game, watching our flank, whatever (sorry, ran out of sports and war metaphors there). What we're less likely to be doing is being in the now, with whatever/whoever is there. We're less likely to be processing, more likely to be reacting, relying on what used to be, rather than what is. We practice awareness on the cushion, but also in ordinary times, so that when the stressful moments hit, we have better success at stepping back and out of the drama.

Realizing that you are always connected, practicing that connection so that you are more aware and attuned, is key to releasing control. When we are aware that we are connected to Source, we can draw on the energy of that connection and we do not need to maintain our sense of self by being in control. We can allow things to be perfect just as they are, rather than as we'd like them to be, because WE DON'T LOSE.

Being able to let go of being in control also opens us to the awareness of other options. When we don't have to hang on to our marriage at all costs, when we don't have to be right all the time, we have room to let someone else—such as Source—be right, and point us in a direction we hadn't considered (remember, obstacles may be—pardon the cheesy comparison—turn signals. Sometimes "no" is a great thing.). Make sense? If there is divine purpose to our lives, and if we have purpose and plans (for lack of a better word) beyond the physical, and we realize we have chosen a physical existence for a reason, then how can we say that the physical reality we face—including our knowledge of what's best for us—is all there is?

Note: this is NOT blaming the victim, nor do I believe "it was God's will" is an answer. All I'm saying is that when we cling to control, we miss the opportunities in front of us, whether they're for growth, for energy shifting, or for options in our physical reality we might not be paying attention to. Just a thought.

Talk to your plants

2011-04-12T19:38:00.000-04:00

Here's an energy practice for you that pays off in sheer beauty: talk to your plants. If you need to, buy something you aren't afraid you'll kill, and talk to it. Tell it how beautiful it is. Spend time appreciating the shades of green in its leaves (or barrel, if you are talking to, say, a saguaro). If you have zero time or space for a plant, find a tree in the neighborhood, or a park (it's an energy worker's adopt-a-tree program). Hug it, talk to it, feed it energy. Make a habit of it and pay attention to the flow of energy as it grows.

To strengthen the flow (this would be the energy feeding part): if you are practiced at energy work, use whatever method works for you. If you're new to it, try this exercise: hold your hands in a semi-cupped position a couple of inches away from the plant, your palms facing the plant. Imagine (which draws into being) that you, yourself, have roots--yours made of energy--and branches, and that these draw Source (Source being another word for God, however you see the Divine) energy into your body. Like blood flowing through your veins into every part of your body, this Divine energy moves through you and concentrates in your hands. As you do this, you may feel heat or tingling--don't worry, this is perfect. Even if you don't feel or see anything, the energy IS moving. If you want practice seeing or feeling the energy, you can build your visualization skills by practicing seeing it (close your eyes and just imagine your hands are glowing....what does that look like?). Now feel/see that energy creating a wave of lovely light moving from you to the plant. You need only do this for a few minutes at most, then allow/see/feel the energy dissipating back to you and your "normal" energy levels. You might also wash your hands when you're done (water will break the energy bond) and eat/drink something to make sure you are grounded when you are finished. You should not feel lightheaded or anything of the sort--but if you are, some fruit or bread and water will take care of that (of course, take your own personal dietary needs into account when grounding from any and all energy work. You can also eat some light protein--egg or yogurt or fish.)

If you have any questions about your practice, or concerns about technique, grounding, or anything else, feel free to email me at conscioussanity@gmail.com.

High Anxiety: everything's all right....

2011-04-08T11:52:00.000-04:00

Where's Mel Brooks when you need him? (Assuming I'm remembering the association correctly--I didn't look!)

It seems like it's getting crazier every day, and some days it's a challenge to find the nuggets of grace we want to build onto. Or maybe just cling to desperately, depending on whether you're riding the maelstrom or watching from the shore. Key practices these days: metta, tonglen, open heart meditations. But also simple awareness, stepping back from the edge and not buying the drama. Taking a moment to see where we REALLY are, and working with/from that. Love. Lots of love.

"Whatever we're doing could be done with one intention. That intention is that we want to wake up, we want to ripen our compassion and we want to ripen our ability to let go. We want to realize our connection with all beings." (Pema Chodron)

All that. And we want to be awake and aware and loving and healing in the world, not just on the cushion (so much easier there, isn't it?).

So here are a couple of practices for the weekend. 1st practice. With all the anxiety and struggle going on right now, we want to start moving that energy into another dimension or level. Let's call it "creating grace" or "creating space." Pick something--preferably something you have an emotional tie to, whether it's something that irritates you on the news or next door, or an issue you've been avoiding resolving in your own life. Get quiet, stilling the energy around you with some deep breathing. Allow yourself to imagine that whatever it is, JUST AS IT IS, it's exactly as you wanted it to be. This is not visualizing an outcome you like--this is, frankly, a non-attachment exercise. JUST AS IT IS, it's okay. Probably the best way is to simply hold the thought, emotion, image in your mind and breathe into it until you feel your body relax and loosen. Then continue breathing/relaxing into, while you see the beauty in the situation--the relationship, the person who's screaming about all the wrong things, whatever. Breathe into it, love and lean into until it's glowing.

2nd practice: raising grace (there's a book title in here, somewhere, isn't there?): Find something that brings you peace, no matter what. For me, Tibetan prayer flags. You just know when you see them, that good things are happening. For you, maybe it's a piece of music, or a sapce to be in (park, etc.). Whatever it is, spend some time there, letting yourself fill with peace and the way it expands your lungs and loosens your muscles.

Have a great weekend--and let me know your experiences with this practice!

PS Conscious Sanity fan page now up on Facebook. No page name yet, but just search for Conscious Sanity....

Energy

2011-03-04T07:54:00.000-05:00

If you could get a big enough microscope, you’d realize that there is a point of resolution at which you’d be essentially unable to determine where my hand ended and yours began, if we were touching. A bit bigger, and you’d see that the lines are blurred even when we’re standing several feet apart. And so on. Air, breath, is constantly cycling. Unless you’re living in a hermetically sealed chamber, it’s more likely than not that every breath you take is an exchange of air with someone else.

This is not to freak anyone out, or even to rephrase the spiritual note about how we’re all one. Rather, I want to focus on the fact that the reason that at some point, those physical boundaries disappear is that what we call “matter” (and what the indigenous peoples of various cultures, including the Laika of Peru, would remark as “frozen light” or “really dense light”) is mostly energy. Some force we don’t entirely understand holds it all together in shapes we recognize as our living room furniture or our best friends.

(Note: I’m watching Ghost Hunters while I’m typing this, which is lending an interesting perspective to my internal discussion on energy!) So with all this energy organizing around us, why do we find it so hard to accept that energy can be perceived, shifted, transformed? Even when we experience it with our most common (five) physical senses, we have a hard time believing it. Even with scientific (tested, and retested) validation…it must be a trick, right?

Spoonbending may be an impractical display, but what if awareness and focused attention brought healing, extra energy, or some other desirable consequence to living beings? Energy healers/workers send energy to the plants in their gardens (perhaps supplemented with quartz crystals buried in the soil); Reiki healers channel unprecedented healings to humans and animals. We accept miracles, why not accept that energy can be shifted to intentionally create those miracles?

One thing we know is that we can measure energy—we can measure the electromagnetic fields; we recognize that some people have emfs that are just wonky—these are the people who can’t run a laptop on battery and might as well leave their watches at home.

Another step in shifting perception and energy away from the physical and into the broader spirit is to concentrate on sensing/observing the energy of all beings. If you aren’t sure about trying to do this with your physical senses, start with your instincts: we have all know someone who either attracts or repels us to the point where we are instantly aware of them when they walk into a room. We can sense when someone is watching us from across a room. And so forth. This is just another form of energy sensing, so if you are familiar with this, it’s a good place to start. Begin by just noticing when you notice it, then practice noticing (you’re noticing it more easily when those energies are stronger. Practicing noticing will increase your sensitivity to less forceful energy emanations.

Shifting from physical

2011-03-03T08:18:00.000-05:00

No, I’m not going to teach you to disappear. Even if I could (you would be more talented than I if that happened!), a blog post probably isn’t the best teaching tool for that.

Actually, what I’m talking about is shifting perception away from the structure of your physical reality—your everyday life, in other words—into a bigger picture.

I’m really combining two different processes here, but I think they mesh. We talked recently about the physical perception level, where we’re caught up in questions of survival: shelter, food, clothing, security—or as I described to my nephew during a trip to Gatorland one day, assessing for two things: dinner, or danger (eat or be eaten). Very limiting, in terms of energy. When your attention is focused on the job (or more particularly, the paycheck), doing chores, keeping the car running, etc—even including a limited (in contrast to limitless) commitment to your spiritual growth, the big picture is hard to take in.

We are at a time in our spiritual / energy evolution where we have to take in the bigger picture—if only to get through the rapidly changing physical world with some degree of clarity, but more importantly where it helps us not get stuck in one perception of what “reality ought to be.” Any time you can step back from whatever is going on in your world and take a bigger view of it, do. Shifting energy requires that we pull back from our focus on our physical surroundings, physical reality. This is the first step.

We often look at the events in our lives (or in the news) as though they’ve never happened before…and sometimes this is true. For example, take the current wave of events in the middle east. When in history have we seen this kind of sweeping change? It’s fairly clear that the events are impacted by our current state of technology, among other things, and in addition, they’re happening at a time when spiritual energy is shifting and accelerating. It would be easy to limit our understanding to a short-term historical context, but what if we look at it in the bigger picture of human evolution? What happens then? And since I’m hypersensitive to source (not Source, in this case!), I should note that among others, both James Redfield in the Celestine Prophecy (1992) and Barbara Hand Clow in The Mayan Code (2007) have spoken of this broader view of human evolution—not simply our historical or technological evolution should be taken into account, of course, but those are fairly simple examples to wrap your brain around.

PS and of course this is not to give you license to ignore your physical reality: eat good food, drink pure water, see to your health needs, etc.

Daily purpose

2011-02-25T08:00:00.001-05:00

It’s the little things that can trip us up, you know. Grand passions and grand purposes notwithstanding, when we get caught up in everyday life, that’s when we step off the track. That’s when we get caught by our power plays and forget everything we’ve learned. We’re at an interesting juncture—we have the timing and opportunity to step beyond the physical limitations we take for granted on a daily basis, but our lives are so crazy-busy we react, rather than act. We take the closest turn, and call it intuition, rather than reach inside ourselves long enough to find the connection, the power cord (or power chord, perhaps ), look for the synchronicity and the signals that Divine guidance is waving at us. We ignore the coincidence of meeting just the right person at the right time, wave it off as “a sign, but I don’t know of what.”

So our daily practice—meditation, energy clearing, energy raising through the kind of music we listen to, the people we surround ourselves with, etc—is the practice ground for this. Meditation trains us to step back and shut up, even if it’s just for a moment. Energy clearing makes the voice of God sound just a bit stronger—and working through our old crap makes it a bit easier to contemplate the non-limits. But it is a daily practice. And while I say “even if you can only do this for five minutes,” that isn’t an excuse to leave it at five minutes while you go off and watch TV for the rest of the evening. That’s another trap of the times, I think—and reminds me of the Genie in the Aladdin movie, saying “limitless power, itty-bitty living space.” That’s us—limitless power, but it’s easier to spend our time in a cozy living space than to do the work needed to evolve.

Which isn’t to say it’s all difficult. Sometimes the hardest part is just letting go…because once you let go—really let go—it can be amazingly easy. We’re just going to shift the energy.

What’s next?

2011-02-24T08:55:00.002-05:00

So from Doctor Dad, you’ve got a bent for science. From Artist Mom, you’ve got a flair for color and proportion and a love of beauty. Now what?

Well, here’s a quick example of where your path might be leading you: what if you discovered through practice that the more beautiful a garden was, the stronger its healing properties? Or what if you found that color therapy helped abused children heal their trauma? Or that Reiki, combined with appreciation, caused plants to become more nutritious by enhancing their mineral impact?

What if everything you dreamed, was real?

That’s the beginning of finding your path, of waking up, of creating a new dream for living. The next step is to create a vision from that of two things: the larger purpose, and the next step. The larger purpose is the grand question you’ll hold before the Universe so when you aren’t quite sure what to do, where to go, what choice to make, you go back to that, and you look for the signs, the synchronicity.

Expect it. Expect to be shown what you need to see. And follow your hunches, the path that glows brighter than the other when you get to the fork in the road. Do this while maintaining your vision, while keeping your energy clear, while maintaining connection with the Divine (this is why I say the Insights Redfield presents aren’t consecutive—there’s kind of this loop that you have to stay in/on etc. Sometimes it looks like a Mobius strip, but keep at it, you’ll be upright again soon!). The more layers you peel away from your armor, the more open you are, the more you cultivate the open heart of a spiritual warrior, the LESS you rely on Fear and its protections, the clearer the Vision is, the brighter the synchronicities, and so on.

If you can do this for five minutes at a time, you’re way ahead of most of the gang!

Why am I here?

2011-02-23T08:53:00.003-05:00

If we are to do the necessary practice of shifting energy on a large scale, the first place we want to start is with ourselves, and getting clear of the psychic crap we pick up every day, as well as the crap we’ve been carrying with us as karma, trauma, or just habits.

The next step, which actually involves lots of pieces, is to be clear on where you’re going in the highest sense. Your spiritual purpose, or your role in the process of human spiritual evolution. The “why am I here.”

This is an answer we begin to come to by looking at our past—more particularly our families—with curiosity instead of judgment. We start with the premise that we chose our families—that this was not a cosmic accident. (Actually, we’re starting the whole thing with the premise that there are no cosmic accidents.) Think about your parents, about the kind of people they were. You can bring siblings into the equation, too, although that gets a bit complicated, because you’re working with the thought that they too chose your family for a purpose. Hmmm ... might be interesting to know what your siblings thought of your parents in this scenario, too—do they see the same things you do? But I digress.

When I look at my parents, I realize that over the past several years my understanding of their part in my spiritual placement (if you will) has changed somewhat, and gotten a bit more nuanced. That’s okay—you start where you are and as your understanding grows, I think you get simply more information to push you along. So…Redfield, in the Celestine Prophecy, suggests four paradigms of power that we all engage in: interrogation, intimidation, aloofness / withdrawal, and “poor me” or victim. All of these are used as ways to manipulate relationships to draw as much energy / power to ourselves as possible. He suggests the we develop these power paradigms by observing our parents and reacting to their power paradigms, and that this serves also as a base for us to grow from.

The danger in this, though, is in letting ourselves get trapped in the simplicity of this four-part power model. I see myself, for example, reacting differently to different people when I get caught in a power play. Still, it’s a useful tool for learning to observe power manipulation and for walking away from it. Of course, it's also important to focus on the part where you learn to walk away, instead of using it as an excuse!

A huge part of what we learn – or can learn – from our parents comes from observing—again, with curiosity, not judgment—who/how they are in the world in terms of providing sort of a base from which we gain tools to create our paths. For some people, this may be easy: my dad was a doctor, I’m a doctor, etc. But for this new goal of conscious spiritual evolution, or conscious sanity, I think it’s important to go beyond that. And for those of us whose parental lessons may not be so obvious in the sense that following their mundane path isn’t what we’re aiming for. In my case, at one point in my life or another, both my parents were teachers. I don’t think that how they approached teaching is necessarily a model from which I should draw—although I could be wrong. In fact, it took me years to understand that what I think is the biggest synthesis for me is how they each approached/approach spirituality and spiritual exploration. From my mother, I get a huge helping of curiosity, and willingness to explore new things. My mother is one of those people who, when her attention is caught, is just as likely to dive headlong into the pool as she is to check the temperature with her toe in the shallow end. My dad was much more cynical (possibly because the idealism was crushed at a young age, but I’m not trying to defend or explain him, just observe). He frequently would make statements that would leave you wondering why he wasn’t an atheist—and by the time I was a young adult, he and my mom were pretty much at opposite ends of spectrum when it came to trying “new,” although I still describe him as a perpetual seeker.

So from Mom, curiosity and willingness to explore. From Dad, a desire to explain, debunk, and ground in logic and experience, rather than taking what I see at face value. And probably, I really shouldn’t forget the teacher thing—there’s definitely a need to discover (from both of them), but for the sake of sharing.

So for you…what do you see in your parents’ lives, in their way of being in the world, that was important to you as you engage in this process?

Purpose, path, and evolution

2011-02-22T08:50:00.001-05:00

Many scientists and others writing in the “new paradigm” genre (if genre is the right word, but you know what I mean) have suggested that the real meaning of our time, and of the changes predicted over the next couple of years have to do with our ability to evolve within our lifetimes. Not intergenerational evolution, but INTRA-generational evolution.

Certainly we are on the cusp of great change, sliding into the bowl of it, so…why not?

Over the past few weeks, the news has rocked with reports of revolution and change world-wide (or at least region-wide). The beginning of the bigger changes to come, it’s thought.

It’s interesting to step back and observe as Fear responds. Sometimes on both sides. It’s challenging, too, as an observer, to ascertain where it’s fear, or perhaps a necessary stand, in some of these scenarios—or even if what we see as change is perhaps a backlash from the old paradigm resisting change indirectly. (How you see that may depend on your personal view of “how the world ought to work.”)

This is where clarity on your path and the larger purpose of human experience is essential. Keeping clear on this is aided in part by those things we’ve discussed—the work you do to get clear yourself will help you maintain focus in the midst of the Fear.

Four levels of seeing

2011-02-14T19:34:00.000-05:00

When we look at clearing or shifting energy—for whatever purpose, but especially when it's part of our spiritual path (or is helping us walk that path), it's helpful to realize that what we can do easily varies with our level of perception. The shamans of Peru present four levels of perception that they say we function with. It's important to understand that these are only partly aligned with, say, a spiritual progression—that is, while we are here in these human forms, we're likely to move between all of them depending on circumstance.

The first level of seeing is that of serpent. You could roughly correspond this to the first two levels of Maslow's hierarchy of needs, since it's very simple: food, shelter, security. It's being very physically in the world, very concerned with physical needs.

The second level of seeing is that of jaguar. This is the perception of the mind and emotions. For example, take the breath. At serpent, we're only concerned with being able to breathe—in fact, we're mostly unconscious of it as long as it keeps going. At the level of jaguar, we assign meaning to the breath: quickening under excitement, perhaps stopping altogether with shock. We're able to manipulate the breath to purpose: deep breathing for trance work or to calm ourselves; a single deep breath to gain control, and so forth. In the words of Alberto Villoldo (The Four Insights) "We're aware that our experiences are influenced by our thoughts and that everything isn't necessarily what it seems to be in the physical realm."

The third level of seeing is that of hummingbird, where we are aware of bigger patterns, of divine purpose, that things are expressions of the divine. It is the perception of the sacred, of the soul. We are aware of our connection to the divine—a level of perception we might correspond to the 3rd eye/brow or crown chakra.

The fourth level of perception is that of eagle: this is spiritual perception. This is the level of creation, not simply awareness of the divine hand in creation. When we are in the realm of eagle, we are not aware of a connection to the divine, we are simply connected. We see everything as spirit and connected.

I believe it's at this fourth level—eagle—where we shift energy. This is where we embody prayer. Change, of course, happens at all levels: in serpent, instinctive reaction to enticements or threats will have us changing course: we're hungry, so we pull into the closest place that satisfies our need or our tastes. In jaguar, we can make conscious choices based on what we see beneath the surface: jaguar is the level at which we can begin healing our past, making choices about the use of power, and so forth. It's where we can be aware of the physical expression of energy and how it affects us: the things we learn from our past, from our friends, families, and lovers; from all our relationships. It's the point from which most of us begin our spiritual journey. These changes are emotional, psychological, and they encourage us to explore further. At hummingbird, we gain awareness of patterns of destiny, of past life karma and inter-life choices, of soulmates and soul groups. At hummingbird, we are aware of how interconnected we are, and how we connect to divine purpose and energy, and we begin shifting energy. It's slower here than at eagle, though, because in eagle we don't need reminders of how to dismantle barriers. We don't have to stay in trance to heal, or to shift energy because we simply are and do. This level is available to us no matter where we are or think we are in our spiritual practice—this is the level at which physical obstacles simply dissolve, because we drop ego (which is our awareness of being separate) and simply allow...twisting spoons, spontaneous healing, superhuman feats to rescue a child...just in case you thought this was reserved for monks or others who live lives of devoted spiritual attunement!

Holding the Vision

2011-02-10T09:20:00.000-05:00

The other evening I was at a meetup (group of people—often strangers—getting together to explore a common interest) that had been meeting to discuss things related to the Celestine insights (based on the book[s] by James Redfield). I'd attended a few in the past, but the approach wasn't entirely the way I was hoping to engage, and I'd fallen out of the practice. This meeting, though, was to discuss the 10th insight, "holding the vision," and because many of the themes that underlie that particular insight have been popping up lately, it seemed a good time to check back in.

A full understanding of this insight is, like so many of the others, complicated, and this is just my interpretation from my reading; still, I think we'll take a few days to go over it, and then maybe we'll backtrack and work in some of the things that made this all make sense to me finally, 15 or so years after I'd first read the Celestine Prophecy.

I've said before that it doesn't matter what your calling is, as long as you find it and are working that direction. For that matter, the important stuff has nothing to do with how you're making a living, although the more closely you can weld spiritual purpose to every part of your life—including the part that pays for what you need to pay for—the happier you'll be. But what's this "holding the vision" stuff about?

Well, it's about digging into why you are really here (the age-old question, right?). Finding out what your role is in human spiritual evolution, and playing that out. It's about not being distracted by fear, or the "wrong" vision, whether yours or someone else's. You get there by digging below the surface, below the path that feels good or right and finding out what the bedrock is made of.

One thing to understand is that the Insights (any insight, for that matter) is not a question of chronology; although coming to certain understandings is often necessary to better understand something that comes later, you don't have to put off studying or living something just because you haven't entirely figured out the first step. What I find is that very frequently, some truth that you uncover will send you right back to an earlier discovery with a new perspective that helps you grow back to that next one, which gives you a new understanding of THAT, and so on. So even if you feel like you haven't quite got here—still fumbling around with the basics—keep going. Incorporate what we've been talking about, the other things you've learned, and know that you're moving forward with every step.

One of the first steps that WILL keep you going back and forth, but in a spiral, not in a stuck line, is the energy clearing we've been discussing. Your energy gets clear, so you can face something you weren't willing to face before, but that brings more energy toxins to the surface, so you need more clearing, etc. And energy clearing will help you get more clear on the truth in your life, which means you (often) get to deal with the delusions next.

Once you've discovered your vision (the one we're talking about holding), that gives you a touchstone or focal point, but it most likely will NOT magically make everything better—because part of what you came to do is likely to include various facets of messy human existence. So you still are going to be working through whatever those experiences are: relationships, prosperity issues, right livelihood, right speech (to use some Buddhist terms), and—and this can be a fun one—other people's reactions to your growth. The closer those people are to you, the harder that can be.

Over the next few days we'll talk about the shamans' four levels of seeing, because it ties into this beautifully, then soul groups, and finally, how to set this into your daily practice and daily reality. Today, we're going to take a giant step back and talk about meditation and chakras for one moment.

Meditation is essential for quieting your mind and learning focus. The ability to hold a focus in meditation—whether on the breath, on counting, on a mantra or image—is key to holding your vision. Meditation, because it trains us to let thoughts pass through without distracting us, also trains us to hold a focus in the midst of ordinary reality—to allow those distractions of our mundane lives to pass through as the temporary forms they are, without pulling us away from our purpose.

Meditation also helps us peel away the onion layers of our armor. We build up these thick walls of protection, constructed of the stories we tell ourselves about right and wrong, of harm done to us, or of power plays we've pulled on others. We construct them out of the shoulda-coulda-woulda list, out of the "gotta do" list, out of bills to pay and people to please and houses to keep up as though those actions can protect us from the rug being pulled out from under us to disclose the oubliette of whatever it was we didn't expect. (I know, great metaphor, isn't it?) What we want to do, though, to complete this life-long journey of spiritual evolution is to be warriors without armor (did I mention it's life-long? Not for everyone, I suppose, but still....). To create a life of conscious spiritual connection and energy evolution. And we can't do it without peeling away the protections we've piled on. Meditation helps us see our stories for what they are, gives us the space to step back before reacting to the new stories – to become an observer – and to stop relying on them for protection.

Your work in clearing your chakras and strengthening the energy centers in and around you is one way to heal the wounds caused—and protected by—the armor. Those chakras that persist in gunking up can tell you where you try hardest to protect yourself, and/or where you're attracting hits, where the lessons you've chosen to learn may sit. Note: just because you've chosen to experience something in this lifetime, it doesn't mean you have to KEEP experiencing it. Learn the lesson, release the karma, and move on--because it's moving on (and up, and deeper) that's kind of the point.

Clear, strengthen, repeat. You're off to an excellent start. Where do you find it hardest to clear? Feel free to comment or email me privately, whether you've got "stuck" or want to share what you find.

My life is in the way of my Life

2011-02-09T07:16:00.000-05:00

Ayiyi....you know the old saying that life is what happens while you're making other plans? That's been the past several days—constantly on the go, and suddenly it's Wednesday and I haven't had time to even think of a useful blog post, much less write one (among other things). My life, as I said, is in the way of my Life.

Unh-unh. It's a great excuse, though, isn't it? Life, though, is just life—it's the stuff we do to fill the time until our real life starts, unless we wake up and decide to do it differently. When we let life "get in the way," we can take a step back and ask what's going on—what are we giving in to? Our fear of doing something bigger and bolder than we've ever done before? And what's with that crap? Weren't we past that?

We can, of course, accept that we are human, and there're going to be days when just being human is going to take all our energy. The important thing to realize is if those days are pulling us off our path—creating a new/old path for us, and whether the real problem is we're drifting back into the well-worn channel of our previous days, rather than doing the hard work of creating something new in our lives.

If I stay up too late—no matter the reason—and then don't want to get up at 5 a.m. to work out, or write, or meditate, or clear energy, or any one of the myriad activities I could engage in, it's time to ask why: do I need some downtime to process? (sometimes if you've been doing massive energy work, including clearings or some other type of energy shifting, you'll find you need more sleep for a few days, but that only works as a reason if you always stay up late and it's never been a problem before) am I avoiding working out, meditating, writing, or whatever it is I had planned for the morning? Depending on the activities of the evening before (heartfelt convo with your best friend vs. a Law and Order marathon) the question might be 'what was I avoiding last night?'

Life shouldn't be considered as "getting in the way." It's your life. It's either the stuff you fill time with, or it's the container for manifesting your purpose this go-round.

Just breathe!

2011-02-03T09:51:00.001-05:00

I realized after I published yesterday's (late!) post that the closing line was perfect to apply to today's comments. Another way to work on clearing and strengthening the chakra centers is to breathe into them.

I was first shown this exercise about 15 years ago by a friend who did chakra work as part of his therapy practice (he was the therapist, not the recipient). I loved it so much I've used it ever since as another--sometimes quicker--way to tap in and strengthen my energy connection to the chakras.

It's perhaps easiest to practice this with the natural seat of the breath (the heart chakra) or its close relative, the throat chakra. I say easier only because at first, there's a bit of visualization at play, and it's easier, I think, to visualize breath entering those areas than, say, the crown of your head or the base of your spine.

Close your eyes. No trance is required for this, by the way, but closing your eyes will help you focus, especially at first. With practice, it won't be necessary. For a few moments, simply breathe as you normally do. Gradually, though, bring your attention to your breath moving in your throat. Imagine that instead of breathing through your nose or mouth, you are breathing through the skin at the base of your throat, straight into your throat chakra. Visualize the blue of this chakra brightening when you breathe in. Perhaps it spins slightly faster, or with more stability. When you breathe out, perhaps it lightens, or stays bright, but becomes a clearer color. It's your chakra--don't take my description for anything other than a possibility! See what's really going on with you--that's the important part.

From the throat, it's probably easiest to breathe into the heart chakra in the same way, then continuing down until you reach the root. Then transfer your attention to the brow and crown chakras.

You may find yourself a bit disoriented after this, unless you're accustomed to doing breath work. If you are, give yourself a few moments to settle back into your body, then drink some water before you do anything else. And please, don't breathe and drive!

Have an amazing, blessed day, and don't forget to breathe!

Crowning moments

2011-02-02T21:50:00.000-05:00

Wow! Today was largely an exercise in staying deeply connected. Workday: hectic, with one project replacing another before the first could be finished (I'm still in the middle of editing the same article I started the morning with!). Errands after work, a stop at the grocery story, a forgotten bill needing paid...and I got home, parked my car, walked to the mailbox, picked up the mail (including a replacement phone that I hoped to activate online tonight, but no, that will be another errand to run tomorrow), walked back to my apartment, walked to my car to get groceries from the trunk...uh, oh. Car was listing seriously to one side. Sure enough, I had a flat tire. Called the tire place (I'd just had work done on the car last week, so the phone number was handy.). They'd just closed, and I definitely needed a tow (they'd have stayed if I could have driven over).

So the point...sometimes, staying connected to purpose, to the divine, to the path requires conscious attention to the connection. Not just during meditation or energy work where we're focused on strengthening the connection, but in the middle of what-kind-of-crazy consciously stepping back, breathing, opening the crown chakra to balance the craziness with divine sanity.

This is the role of the crown chakra. No, not balancing the craziness, per se. But as a portal--it's kind of like the outlet in the wall. Plugged in, electricity flows. It connects us to the divine, to the bigger picture. The crown chakra is where Reiki practitioners draw in energy. It's not just being aware of connected, it IS the connection. Whewwwwwwwwww. Yeah. It's the deep breath you take in when you close your eyes and raise your face to the sun. It's finding the purpose, the seed of your sanity in the middle of other people's priorities. Enlightenment, transcendance.

The color associated with this chakra is purple. One way to strengthen a chakra in general is to bring more of the color associated with it into your life. I'm not sure that means you should be wearing all the colors of the rainbow at one time (a bit dizzying, perhaps?), or one for every day of the week (I've meditated that way, but I'm not sure about dressing that way...perhaps a bit too eccentric!), but perhaps adding more purple tones to your sacred space, maybe wearing more of it if you're going through an extra-stressful time.

For clearing, though, we'll still on visualization. Tomorrow (which post will be rather earlier in the day!) I'm going to give you a couple more clearing/strengthening exercises. Today / tonight: the visual. You'll cast your inner eye to the crown of your head for this one. You'll probably find the spinning chakra more visible just a half inch or so above your skull, rather than inside, simply because of your viewpoint. Purple, as I said, probably around the violet range. Purple is an interesting and beautiful color. If the color you see or sense is, say, eggplant, you're probably a bit blocked (this chakra generally doesn't get polluted in the way that others do, although I wouldn't rule anything out, especially given the things some people do...you just can't imagine their spiritual center to be anything but mucked up!...but probably 99.999% of the time, the energy flow is simply being choked off. If the color is light, it may be that you're very open, and if it's causing problems for you, the answer might simply be some grounding (isn't energy cool?).

For meditation/clearing purposes, amethyst is the classic choice to associate with the crown chakra. In geode form, it's a great tool for meditation for any purpose. Another stunningly beautiful choice is selenite. It's a form of crystalized gypsum, and kind of looks like a cross between those ribbon hard candies you used to see at Christmas time and blackboard chalk. Moonstone can also be used.

Just breathe!

The all-seeing eye

2011-02-01T08:13:00.001-05:00

Chakra six – the brow, or third eye, chakra. The energy center of clairvoyance, of reception of divine communication. It's where we imagine—as I tell my creative visualization students, it's the movie screen behind your eyes. Open, the images flow. Blocked, we lose sight—literally—of our connection to the divine.

One thing you might be noticing about now is that although we usually talk about the chakras from the root up (an easy way to approach the clearing, too), the way the divine works is more like the top down: being a manifestation of the divine ourselves, we become an energetic channel for divine energy to flow downward from the Crown (and higher) chakra(s) into manifestation. The four lower body chakras are associated with the four physical elements: air (heart), fire (solar plexus), water (sacral) and earth (root) – in order of their physical density. The lower down we move, the more grounded we are. The higher we move, the less grounded and more clearly connected to divine guidance.

Anyone who's had a bad experience with traditional religious practices is probably going to find imbalance here, even if you've moved to a new understanding of spiritual practice because there's a good chance you're blocking any energy you associate with those experiences.

To clear this chakra, your visualization for the first time is going to move up (in your body), and instead of using your spine as a reference point, you're simply going to look at that place where you probably visualize or imagine most things—it's the same spot, in all likelihood, whether you're imaging the path you're on, and how that manifests, or imagining the scene in your favorite novel: the movie screen behind your eyes. Focus on that dark blue (indigo) ball of energy spinning in there. Sometimes this visual can be tricky, because we're used to putting all sorts of images there, but it can be done. To help you clarify, clear, and access the energy of this chakra, stones like iolite (my favorite: it's this gorgeous purply-blue with white streaks in it), lapis, sodalite, even moss agate (a lovely dark green-blue that looks like someone injected moss into clear quartz). Speaking of which, clear quartz works nicely here as well. Put a few around you, hold one in your hand(s) or even against your body. This chakra can present very cool experiences when you clear it, even as you're in the process. If you feel a little too open after, ground yourself and even eat or drink something to help center you in the physical.

Have an amazing and blessed day!

The voice of truth: the throat chakra

2011-01-31T08:49:00.001-05:00

The throat chakra governs, as you might guess, communication. But more than that, the energy of this chakra is all about communicating truth. It's about building connection and community, about creativity, and it's key to accessing our psychic abilities (we usually think of the 3rd eye for this, but ....)

In a week or so, when we start looking at some of the other energy centers, we're going to take a long, hard look at the higher heart chakra, which rests between the heart and throat, bridging the two. In itself, though, the throat chakra could be considered a bridge between heart and brow. If the heart chakra connects us to others through love and compassion, the throat chakra connects us not only to others, but to a consciousness beyond the physical. Voice manifests ("in the beginning was the word") ideas; voice transfers ideas from spirit to physical reality when we communicate with others...we shape our reality through our throat. Blocked, says Alberto Villoldo in The Four Insights, this chakra can constrict our energy-focus to our family, our tribe. Open, we are able to connect to a greater "us." Communicate. Community.

It's not just talking, though, it's speaking truth. This is a chakra that is often shut down in women (especially in older generations and certain cultures), children, and others who are told they should be "seen and not heard." It's the chakra that's shut down when we're told physical reality is all we have, and we stop telling people about our non-physical experiences.

When we open the throat chakra, we allow the truth voice, and we share that truth with others. The chakra, by the way, also governs hearing. One way to shut down truth is to refuse to listen.

When you visualize this chakra, see it as a light to bright blue (the color of the lapis stone is perfect). When it spins, it glows brilliantly with the light of truth—your truth. If you've not done much clearing of this chakra, don't be surprised if your voice over the next few days feels rusty. But then again, maybe it will sound brighter and clearer than ever before. If you're using stones in your chakra meditations, a few good choices for this one are blue kyanite (my favorite—it's such a beautiful blue, especially if you find it tumbled and polished!), chrysocolla (which lends itself well to strength and balance in communication), lapis lazuli, sodalite (which also works well with the brow chakra, allowing truth to flow freely), and blue sapphires.

Have an amazing, blessed day!

Straight to the heart (chakra)

2011-01-28T09:16:00.000-05:00

Sorry--the last couple days got the better of me. I started a container garden on my balcony, and started sprouts this week, and that's taken up a bit of time--but the clover sprouts are amazing, and even the radish and broccoli are actually sprouting (a huge improvement over trying to sprout at my last place). This morning? One lone carrot top peeking out of the soil. I suspect the cool weather is slowing things down, but that's okay.

So mundane life was a bit hectic, the garden required a bit extra time, but that's life, and it gave me a little more time to think about what I wanted to say for our first look at the heart chakra.

As you could guess, the heart chakra is located right about where our physical heart is. The color associated with it on our rainbow ladder is green. The quality most closely associated with it is love. The heart chakra is sometimes referred to as a bridge chakra--part of its role in our energy is connecting the three lower chakras, which really place us in the world--our stuff, our relationships, our personal power, and the three upper body chakras (throat, third eye or brow, and crown) which start to connect us on a different level. It is here that we process emotions. And because 99.999% of everything is rooted in either love or fear, imbalances in this chakra can affect (or be created by) things going on in almost every other area of our lives.

I love this chakra (no pun intended). When it's clear and glowing, healing energy just floods your entire being and your life. It is, however, a chakra that is frequently out of balance, especially for women. When you're raised to place others' well-being above your own, others' opinions above your own, and others' feelings above your own, this chakra either shrinks or armors up to protect you, or expands until you have no recognizable emotional boundaries or emotional self-preservation: you're giving, giving, giving and never replenishing.

Not only our heart but our breath/lungs is governed by this chakra. In Chinese medicine, the lungs hold grief (think about this for a moment!). This is a great chakra to practice breathing into/through -- something we'll be talking about next week. For now, we'll stay with the practice of clearing through visualization. If you need reminders, go back to the post last Friday (?) on the root chakra, and review those suggestions. The color you should see when you go in and focus on this chakra is green. Imagine an emerald (an excellent stone for heart chakra work) in your chest. Other stones include seraphinite (a gorgeous mossy green), sugilite, green, pink or watermelon tourmaline (yes, it really looks like a cross-section slice). Rose quartz is a favorite of many people; calcites are good for clearing any chakra (match the color with the chakra), so pink calcite would be your choice here. Yes, it's not green, but the pink stones tend to associate with feelings of love as well.

Three more chakras in this section of the adventure ....

Have an amazing, blessed day!

I will: chakra three

2011-01-25T12:21:00.000-05:00

The third, or solar plexus, chakra, is the seat of our power--or at least the seat of our recognition of power. Remember, with any energy in our lives, it's not so much about its absence or presence as it is about our connection. Energy simply flows, and if it isn't flowing, or isn't flowing in a way that works for us, it's usually because there's a blocked connection of some sort. Often the complications in our chakras are comparable to a dam holding back water. Power through the dam, and things start flowing freely (and stop backing up and flooding other areas!).

An out-of-balance third chakra often is connected to an imbalance of power in our lives (I say "connected" with regards to chakra imbalances because it's not always clear which came first--the out-of-whack chakra [causing the energy imbalance in our outer life] or the out-of-whack life [causing the energy imbalance in the chakra]). It's often the case that chakra imbalances, especially severe ones, can be traced back to events happening in particular timeframes of our early lives--and if you look at childhood development timelines you can often see why. Third chakra imbalances often date back to the ages of 2 1/2 - 4 1/2 years: the time in which children develop personal power and a recognition that they are separate bodies from others. Think the terrible twos, here....

Back to the chakra. Loosely paraphrasing Anodea Judith from her work Wheels of Life: Feeling powerless is failing to consciously use our will. It's not that we're lacking in will, it's that we're applying it in directions that don't serve us. Yes, this can be a big hurdle. Yes, this can be overwhelmingly because of myriad issues that drive us into choosing to respond in accordance with someone else's will, rather than our own real purpose. Yes, yes, yes. Tons of reasons. But I think it's important to realize that our own purpose is there, just waiting for us to take a shot at tuning in. If you feel out of control, powerless, and weak, or simply (if such a thing is simple) stuck, you want to take a look at your third chakra.

This is a chakra to pay attention to with your daily energy clearing as well, especially if you spend much time around other people engaged in power struggles, because this is where those sit as well. This is the chakra associated with the physical element of fire, and as such it's the seat not only of power, but of transformation. It's where we focus when we're doing centering exercises, and if you've ever engaged in a battle of wills and lost, feeling like you've been kicked in the stomach, this is the place. You want this chakra clear and working for you so you can keep healing.

If you need, check back to the post on the root chakra from last week for details on the visualization process we're working with right now. To help boost the energy of the clearing of this chakra, I do suggest running through a grounding/centering exercise first, then visualizing the white light energy of your spirit-aura. When you trance, you'll be looking for a yellow glow just below your rib cage. As you go through the visualization of clearing and balancing this chakra, pay attention to any feelings of anger or fear that may come up. Let yourself breathe through them (literally--give it a try and you'll see what I mean), visualize the white-light energy dissipating them, just as you did when we started on the clearing of personal space. Be willing to let them be too much to deal with in one sitting--sometimes deep issues can be overwhelming. (Note: most of us know if we have serious issues. DO find a qualified counselor or medical professional to work with. Energy work, especially on your own, shouldn't be a substitute for professional help on physical, mental, and emotional issues.)

Continuing the list-o-gemstones: good gemstones to work with for the 3rd chakra include citrine, amber (not actually a stone; amber is a resin), topaz, and again, tiger's eye. My personal favorite is citrine for this work, but amber is also excellent for helping increase personal power.

If your 3rd chakra issues are related to over-powering, and you find yourself downsizing the chakra in your visualization, adding water to your environment, adding tonglen meditation, volunteering in settings that help you exercise compassion...all excellent ways to help bring that into balance. Also recognize if the over-powering is related to fear. Clearing and balancing this, along with the other two lower chakras, can help heal this life imbalance considerable.

The more I think about the chakras as I'm posting these, the more I'm conscious that we're just scratching the surface here. If you have any questions about a particular chakra, feel free to post them in the comments or email me privately at conscioussanity@gmail.com.

Have an amazing and blessed day!

Second chakra: you, me, and everyone else

2011-01-24T12:46:00.000-05:00

The second, or sacral, chakra is an interesting power seat. I was thinking of it especially yesterday while doing some work and having the TV on in the background to one of those shows about hoarding.

Now, you wouldn't think the sacral chakra would relate to hoarding--after all, it's the root chakra that connects us to our "stuff." But a lot of the people I see on these shows aren't suffering from lack of "stuff" (or, more accurately, they aren't suffering from a fear of a lack of stuff). I'm sure that plays in to a lot of people's experiences, but one thing I've noticed when I've run across these examples: many, many times the stuff is filling a hole in their emotional lives.

Emotional balance is connected to the clear functioning of most if not all of the chakras, true. But a particular role is played by both the heart chakra and the sacral. The sacral chakra connects to the root, and it's sitll sort of fixed in the physical world. Part of what it does is govern how we relate to others through physical expression--sex, especially. But on a larger level, it's about intimacy and whether we allow it, or put up walls--and one of the things that stood out for me with these hoarders was they collected stuff to avoid intimacy. Things couldn't leave them like people did. Although none of them ever said it, I suspect it provided a physical barrier to keep people from getting too close--they couldn't bring people into their homes, often they couldn't sleep in the same bed as their partner, they didn't eat meals as a family. I'd be willing to bet that a look at their second chakra, even more than their first, would show a dingy, misshapen mess of energy.

The second chakra is located in the lower belly. In our rainbow ladder, it's associated with the color orange. Unless your energy is pretty clear--and sometimes even if it is--working on second chakra issues can bring up some difficult stuff. Can't maintain a healthy long-term relationship? Odds are good that working on this chakra will bring those issues up. It'll bring up your addictions, whatever they are--at least in the sense that you'll find yourself confronting the "why" of them (addictions, in the end, are simply those things that we put and keep between ourselves and life--not just alcohol or drugs, but addiction to convenience, to food, to coffee, to bad relationships, etc). It's useful to start off this work with a prayer to your deity of choice, spirit guides, what-have-you that the clearing of these issues be gentle.

Many authors seem to equate the 2nd chakra to sexuality only. I disagree. I think that sexuality is one expression of a willingess for intimacy, and that intimacy is more in line with 2nd chakra energies. Intimacy, after all, requires strength and the willingness to be vulnerable. Note that this chakra is not about love per se--that's related to the heart chakra. It's really connected to our willingness to be emotionally open, to be vulnerable, to be intimate in a physical way. True intimacy cannot be achieved without love (so few things can), and so I think we find heart chakra imbalances almost any time we find imbalances in any of the chakras (more on that when we get to the heart chakra). Regardless, when we're talking about second chakra issues, we've almost invariably got to include the fact that we're still very physical with this chakra, so there's almost always a physical expression of an emotional or psychological issue. Weight issues, when related to intimacy or fear of it, are frequently related to the 2nd chakra, although things that start out here could also then turn into habits that might be impacting the 3rd chakra (yes, it can get a little complicated--aren't we amazing beings?).

For now, though, we'll focus on very simple clearing for the 2nd chakra. Remember, when we get through the first seven chakras, we'll circle back to some of these clearing techniques and I'll do a post on some other ways to clear them.

You can use the same visualization techniques for this chakra as you did for the root. Light trance, look down your spine, look for the orange, etc. You might also check in on your root chakra at the same time. A friend turned me on to using tangerine quartz as an aid to second chakra work--again, if you can, use four pieces, one to each side of you, as you do this meditation. You can also use tiger's eye, amber, or carnelian. Try placing your hand on your belly as you do the visualization and pay attention to any physical sensations, like warmth. To me, 2nd chakra issues involve both serpent and jaguar levels of seeing. (Which we'll touch in on in the next series of posts after the intro to chakras).

Have an amazing, blessed day!

The root of it

2011-01-21T08:09:00.001-05:00

Just in case you aren't familiar with the chakra system, here's a quick explanation: chakras delineate areas of, shall we say, more intense energy concentration. Everything is energy, connected by a flow of energy, and chakras are sort of like train stations, where energy of a particular type is concentrated and from where it primarily stems. We usually refer to chakras as though they are completely within our bodies, but a) there are chakras located completely outside our physical form, b) there are chakras not specifically residing in or around humans and c) just like that train station, the chakras have openings of sorts that allow energy to flow into and out of the world around us. Literally, this is where things can get messy.

There are a lot of chakras of importance, and we're going to start with the 7 most familiar ones, all located within the human body and primarily engaged for most of us in helping us deal with the day-to-day. The first, base, or root, chakra is roughly located at the base of the spine. It is concerned with matters of survival, and as such, the Incan shamans would equate it with the level of seeing with the serpent (I promise, one day soon we'll get into the four levels of seeing): it's really about "who am I in the world" -- the psychological component of this is "do I deserve to be in the world" -- food, shelter, clothing, physical safety, etc. Off balance, it can result in poverty or fear-driven greed, constant fear of physical harm, being a bully, and so forth. In a sense, it doesn't matter how it manifests in your life because your goal is to keep that energy clear and flowing under all circumstances and in all settings anyway.

One simple way to clear the energy of a chakra (we'll get into more complex ways after we cover all the physical body chakras) is through visualization. Imagine the chakras as a rainbow ladder: the root chakra is the first rung, and the associated color is red. To use visualization to clear this chakra, go into a light trance, and if you like, increase your connection by first visualizing your body filled with the white light of your spirit energy. Imagine you are looking directly down your spine (I find this rather easier to visualize than working from, say, a ground level view!). Right around your tailbone you should see a red ball of energy. Spend a few moments paying attention to it--its color, its size, its shape. Now imagine it perfectly round, clear red, and spinning smoothly. If it seems too large, like you have an over-focus one way or another on survival issues (this can include being too generous, too), feel free to shrink it. If it seems too small, like the Grinch's heart (or heart chakra, perhaps?), breathe into it, rather like a balloon. When it reaches "just right" in all ways, or a point you are comfortable with, hold that image for a few moments, then take a deep breath and open your eyes.

Over the next several days after doing this exercise, I do encourage you to pay particular attention to what is going on in your physical / survival reality. Remember our comfort zones are often ready to reach out and pull us back from our progress. If you are not familiar with chakra work, you'll want to repeat this frequently. If your chakras are reasonably in order, not so much. You can also augment the clearing and strengthening by setting root-chakra oriented gemstones around you -- an ideal number would be four, one to each side of you during your meditation. Some good ones are garnet, tourmalinated quartz, onyx, obsidian (especially snowflake obsidian), ruby (raw rubies are inexpensive and easy to find at metaphysical shops), or smoky quartz. Try with and without the stones and pay attention to their effects to find what works best for you. And, of course, you can always use clear quartz. If any of this makes you feel unsettled and ungrounded, go ahead and take a minute to do some grounding (see my earlier post on this for ideas).

You may want to keep a journal associated with your energy work so that weeks, months (or even just days) from now, you can look at how things are changing.

Doing it all at once

2011-01-20T20:01:00.000-05:00

I feel like I've been bouncing around on the blog lately, trying to touch on this topic and that. Problem is, there's just so much to talk about, and I get on one topic and then start thinking I'm missing things. I think I'll just have to let it flow and get better at tagging so you can find what you need, when you get around to needing it.

Here's the thing. Or one of the things. There are a lot of pieces and parts that go into creating a life of purpose, and into creating a life of spiritual purpose and evolution. At its core, it's about the awareness of where you are, and what your part of the big picture is. It requires a willingness to examine your life, and to move on -- no "analysis paralysis." So even as I jump from clearing space to dreams to the other topics currently on my list, even as I think "wow, this is scattered," I realize they're all pieces of creating this life.

It is, in fact, all about the energy. It's about finding the vision, holding the vision, and getting rid of the things in your life--stuff, obligations, karma, people, whatever--that keep you from your vision.

It does NOT require you to go into seclusion in a mountain monastery (tempting as that might sound!); it doesn't require you to give away all your possessions and take up the life of a holy fool, or even a purposeful nomad--although that works beautifully for those people whose purpose that is.

All it requires is attention to detail, and THAT holds a lot of facets. So over the next several weeks, as we look at all the different kinds of energy, I'm going to try to be willing to go deeper into a given topic for several days running--hopefully you'll find it interesting; eventually, we'll move onto something else.

Tomorrow I'm going to go back to personal energy. We've touched some on clearing personal space (that is, your own energy) as well as the energy of your personal environment (that is, your house!), but I want to dig in a bit more into personal energy and spend several days looking at the chakra system.

Speaking of dreams...

2011-01-19T13:55:00.000-05:00

Moving off the topic of waking dreams (i.e. life) for a foray into the forest of sleeping dreams. The other night I had a post-apocalyptic dream of sorts--I have these every once in a while, and I value them because they open up possibilities of what we may be evolving toward. They almost always involve complete strangers to whom I become closely bonded; they are almost always communal in nature...almost like intentional communities, although not in the way we generally think of those.

I do not consider these dreams to be precognitive--they're far too removed from recognizable reality. Nor are they consistent in location or people--so if they're precognitive, it looks like I'll be moving around quite a bit! However, in them there is something of a consistency in feeling, of purpose, and I think THAT might be a possibility for us physically--to live in communities of like purpose, or perhaps like spiritual purpose--perhaps in groups who take responsibility for a particular area's restoration. Such a group might include energy healers who specialize in gardening, or botany; some who clear water or soil of toxins; some who heal people and animals; others who are involved in the arts or teaching or what have you. Very land-based, these dreams--rather like seeing bits of daily life in a very small (maybe a few hundred people, tops) village.

As most people who know me will tell you, I'm mildly allergic to very small towns, which makes these even more interesting to me.

How about you--any interesting dreams of possible futures?

Clearing space: using herbs

2011-01-18T10:07:00.000-05:00

I suddenly have a stack of topics, but want to touch on space clearing a bit more, as promised last week. Over the years I've seen students, clients, and customers at various metaphysical shops head for one thing when they need to clear space: sage.

Sage is good. And no, it doesn't really smell like anything but itself when it's burning. You can get it in bundles, which you light and let smolder as you walk through your space; you can also buy looseleaf, which will burn for a shorter period. Please note that if you use a sage bundle, you need to be very careful in making sure it's extinguished when you're finished. I love the combinations of herbs you can find in the larger sage bundles, but please put it in a fireplace or similar fire-safe spot after you've extinguished it, just to be on the safe side. The only drawback to sage is that it will sometimes set off a smoke detector. If you're concerned about that, you can buy sage oil and create a mister, or buy a mister already made--there are some really good ones out there, including the Sophie's Potions Spiritual Cleansing Mist I've probably mentioned before (full disclosure: the creator of these mists, and the proprietress of Avalon bookstore is a friend, but I recommend her products because they're really good. I don't make a dime on them.).

The one thing I see people failing most spectacularly at when using sage is the follow-up. Sage is known to clear energies. While I think it leaves some residually higher vibration in the space, I don't think it leaves it strong enough to stand alone. Always follow saging (or smudging, as it's often called) with another herb that fills the space with the vibration you want, if not ritual or prayer or another form of manifesting spiritual intent--otherwise, you run the risk that you'll collect unwanted energies in the space. Sage is often paired with cedar or sweetgrass in incense or sage bundles, and this works beautifully. Sandalwood is also a good follow, so if you like the scent of nag champa, go for it. Lavender will bring peace. Most resins are great follows--copal, dragon's blood, and frankincense among them.

One of my favorites--but again, something designed to set off smoke detectors!--is palo santo, or holy wood. This has a wonderful sweet, woody scent traditional used by the Incas.

If you know what you like, and know its properties, most incense available will work--the ones listed above are among my favorites, and they're easy to find (palo santo is much easier to find than it used to be). The important thing to remember is that when clearing a space with sage (the same goes for your personal energy field) you've only done half the job.

Connecting

2011-01-17T12:13:00.000-05:00

We are all connected. Put us under a big enough microscope, and you wouldn't be able to tell where one begins and another ends. But more importantly, we are connected to Source (pick a name) -- and from that connection we get ideas bigger than ourselves and our conscious knowledge. We get healing that goes beyond scientific explanation. We get...so much.

When we nurture the conscious connection, we can see patterns and focal points--bits of inspiration that point us in the direction we should go. Synchronicity becomes the norm. Doors open, as Joseph Campbell famously said, where none appeared before.

Meditation is one tool for nurturing the connection--it helps us clear the mental clutter of the day-to-day. Focus on another being can also nurture the connection, when we do so with an open heart, open mind, and open ear for what is being said to us.

Talking to plants, hugging trees, appreciating the beauty of the green world--the plant brothers and sisters, if you will--can be an excellent starting point for nurturing connection. Hold a plant between your hands, gently, close your eyes if you like, and simply open to its energy. This is easier than it sounds--it's mostly a matter of holding a conversation with the plant and letting it answer. This is also not as crazy as it sounds, although you should note that as a rule, plants are gentle beings and if any of them suggest you do something violent, you might, in fact, consider that your imagination has taken hold and you should gently decline to do as instructed. Plants don't move very fast, so it's not like it's coming after you.

Back to connecting. I'm assuming that if you're spending time reading this blog, odds are good you are willing to consider that plants, as living beings, are sentient. Studies have indicated, by the way, that they do at least respond to the energy of a place/person. If that thought disturbs you, consider that a) the plant isn't communicating with you, it's just you opening your mind up and letting your subconscious speak, b) God/Source/pick-a-name is speaking to you through the plant or c) they are in fact sentient and it doesn't matter whether it bothers you because there isn't anything you can do about it anyway.

What does matter is your willingness to open to Source, to consciously connect with the other beings of this world. Strengthening those connections consciously will open you up to new connections, new visions of what's to be, new ways of service.

And you never know--the jasmine spiralling up the post beside your garden gate may have a story to tell.

Conscious lifestyle choices: how much is enough?

2011-01-14T07:50:00.000-05:00

Thought I'd dip into the well of what other people are doing and talk a bit about frugality today.

Frugality is something I'm not very good at. Some people are great at it--so great that they publish newsletters on how to turn those rubber bands you're saving into, oh, car tires or something. They, as the saying goes, pinch pennies until Lincoln screams.

Why?

Some people, I think, do it for the ego boost, but that's not us. People living a consciously sane life might choose frugality to lighten their burden on Mother Earth--realizing that enough is, in fact, enough, and more than enough is harmful. They might do it in order to spend their money on other things of importance: perhaps making it go farther so they can do work that isn't repaid in cash, or so they can give more to others with less than enough. They might do it because they're trying to make the money they have actually go far enough to take care of their own obligations (if, for example, they weren't so good at frugality before).

They might practice frugality in order to not be frugal about something else, like travel.

Or, they might not aim for frugality at all. They might be seeking out simplicity.

Simplicity means spending your resources (money, time, energy, etc) on the things that matter most. It's choosing to spend less overall in order to get out of debt, because releasing that burden frees you to do other things without worrying about whether you're repaid in cash. It's choosing to spend less on a car, because you really want to focus on what you do when you get there, not what you look like arriving. It's choosing to put your money into yoga sessions instead of credit card payments, or hand-crafted anything or organic foods from local farmers (or even your own garden, if gardening simplifies your life). It's about focusing on the accoutrements of your path (the flowers along the way, perhaps) rather than wandering down the path someone said you should be taking, with the furniture someone else says you need, or the car that will make you sexier or more powerful.

Frugality does not necessarily equal simplicity. I know people who take frugality to the clutter-bug extreme (hoarding). I think some people take minimalism to an extreme (there, too, one should be seeking "enough," but perhaps the true minimalist simply "needs" less to create enough). Simplicity, though--well, maybe you can take that to an extreme, but then you take it out of the category again. Enough is enough, and only you know how much that is for you. More than enough? Might be time to ask what space you're trying to fill.

Too much protection?

2011-01-13T07:32:00.001-05:00

The other day I posted about space clearing. What prompted that was that I'd just spent the weekend experiencing some really icky energy in my new apartment--I let it ride, thinking it was just stress causing the sleep problems and nightmares, but Sunday night my dreams made it clear it wasn't just me. Monday I fixed it.

Avalon (http://www.avalonbeyond.com/) carries, among other things, some very cool evil eye protection charms. I can't help it--I think they're gorgeous. But I'm not a big 'evil eye' decorator. I had one small one with faceted glass attached to it hanging from a chandelier in the foyer of my former house to take care of any random negative energy, but as a rule, I don't have that kind of life. A friend gave me a new one to hang in this house, but mostly because I'd been wanting something prettier (this has a silver elephant, very stylized, very cool, and one of these days I'll take a picture of it and show you). She did, however, time the gifting with the cleanup project.

But the question is: is there such a thing as too much protection? I know people whose lives are filled with people throwing negative energy at them. On any given day, the number of negative people in my life averages around one, and they're only throwing garden variety muck, not intentional harm. I wonder sometimes about a) the karma and b) the intentions of the people who are under constant attack (or who feel they are). I also wonder if preparing for emotional, physical or psychic attack sets you up for attracting it.

I'm really on the fence on this one, although I think it has more to do with your motivation and intentions than anything. If you are calm, focused on where you need to be, but also recognizing that random acts of crap can affect you, then I think not--after all, if storing water and canned tuna every summer attracted hurricanes, we'd have a lot more of them. That is, there are patterns beyond our choices and actions (other people's choices and actions among them!).

But...(I know, there are a lot of buts in life, aren't there?). When you are focusing on the energy of your personal space or physical surroundings, there is a fine line between protection and fear. Growing a cactus or two in a pretty pot outside your front door may radiate "stay away" energy, but a whole garden of them might completely isolate you. Decorating your entire house with crosses and evil eye protection symbols might make people (including you!) wonder what you're protecting yourself against. And any nastiness out there with, let's say, teenager-like characteristics, might interpret that as "bring it on."

One suggestion I've given students and clients over the years when they're concerned about negative energy (whether in the form of a person they know or otherwise, or just for general use) is to raise the energy level in their space, focused on love and spiritual practice in general. This is not a New-agey, crystal loving (although crystals can be involved), bunny-hugging, tree-hugging, granola crunching, feel-good action. Everything has energy. The strongest energies will pull the rest of it into line with them (for the most part). If you focus on the wanted energies in your space, I find that the unwanted energies have a harder time grabbing hold.

This isn't to say that 'shit' won't happen, but it's less likely that it will make a habit of happening to you.

Baby, it's cold outside!

2011-01-12T07:50:00.000-05:00

How ya doin'? Got your vision set on your path? Targets for ways to bring you in alignment with it (aka New Year's resolutions)? Space clear, personal energy flowing smoothly?

Have I mentioned it's cold outside? Yes, it's January, but this is Florida and I really don't like cold weather (although at least this year we're just getting it a couple of days at a time, so it's more tolerable). The dislike of cold weather is one reason I live here. Which brings us to today's notes (you knew this was going somewhere, right?):

What do you do to maintain focus when things aren't going as planned or hoped? To stay "positive"?

First, I think positive thinking is overrated. Not in the sense that your thoughts don't matter. They're energy, just like everything else in and around you, so of course they matter. It's just that they aren't the be all and end all of what's going on. It's the action you take in accordance with your thoughts. Negative thoughts often result in doing nothing to change the situation. We feel lost and hopeless and it's all we can do to get through what has to be gotten through. But positive thinking also can be dangerous when it results in doing nothing. (There are some finer points to this we'll talk about eventually. For now, just go with the principle that thinking positively is great, but you should still read the want ads....)

Back to topic, though. So you're thinking positively, you're doing the work, and nothing is moving. Or is moving in a different direction. You have some options here for your perspective and choices. One, you can act as if there is divine purpose directing your path in a way you hadn't anticipated. Trust that things are working exactly as they need for your best growth and outcome. Let go and let god, as the saying goes. This is easiest to do/envision if you're actively maintaining and recognizing your divine connection. Meditate!

Two, you can act as if you made a bad choice. Examine what you're going for, what's happening, and consider whether what was a good idea at the time really isn't the right path. Maybe your burning desire to serve has you thinking in medical terms, and yet you can't find a training program you like, everything you see says the job market sucks (that should not be your determining factor, ever, though), etc. Maybe what's going on is you have a romanticized picture of medical practice and how it serves, and you're trying to fulfill someone else's dream; meanwhile, your subconscious is screaming "no."

Three, you can act as if this is exactly the right choice, and your old self or what Seth Godin refers to as the "lizard" (a projection of the reptilian brain that is concerned with survival and not much else), or what the shamans would refer to as serpent self--again, concerned with physical survival...yes, we're talking about your comfort zone trying to control what's going on. You are moving onto your path, and you are trying to sabotage your own efforts so you don't have to work so hard.

Four, you can act as if it's just coincidence, something in the stars, or some external crap going on that you can just ignore and work with, through, or in spite of.

Cold outside? Bundle up and keep walking.

Clearing Personal Space

2011-01-11T07:44:00.000-05:00

Another important piece of the conscious sanity puzzle is keeping your personal energy clear. And no, this is not a topic we'll exhaust in a single day's post!

A lot of things come into play to muck up our personal energies. That matters for any number of reasons, but on a purely practical level it translates into this: unclear personal energy gets in our way. It hampers our focus, our willingness to take risks in relationships, and often it hampers our understanding of just where our path lies.

Although a lot of things can mess with the energy, two major aspects control a majority of the flow (whether clear or muddy): personal karma and the people/energies we come into contact with every single day. I can pretty much guarantee you that no matter how you spend your time, you are ending your day with a fair amount of energy (call it psychic, if you like) debris clinging to you. Daily meditation practice helps, as does a practice of visually clearing the energy (we'll discuss other ways some other time--I, of course, am late for work!).

I've probably discussed this before, but it's such a great exercise, it won't hurt to bring it up again. Pagan author Silver Ravenwolf calls this the "Liquid Light" exercise, and frankly I can't think of a better name, although my version of this practice has changed a bit over the years and I expect yours will, too.

Bring yourself to a meditative trance state--as calm as you can. Visualize (or sense, if your inner eye is out of focus) the energy field that surrounds you. For this exercise, you want to focus on the white light part of the spectrum. So see yourself surrounded by white light. Observe for a moment the characteristics--how far out it extends, whether it's clear, etc. Then you want to spend a few moments clearing the light field. (Note: the white light field carries no negative energies of itself, but if you've gone a long time without clearing, you may perceive some bits and pieces, hence the desire to clear the light field.) Next, begin to bring the light into your body--just visualize or feel it extending into and through your body. This may take some practice, but the more you do it, it gets easier and clearer, and will stay clearer longer (practice strengthens it). Then you'll spend some time visualizing the light in your body--notice blockages, cloudy areas where it comes into contact with injuries, other people's junk that's gotten "under your skin" and so forth. Visualize the light clearing it. When you feel clear, you can visualize the light moving back out of your body and back into its usual place surrounding you. And of course don't forget to breathe through the exercise!

Clearing Space

2011-01-10T07:13:00.000-05:00

If our work includes being at peace with ourselves and our world (one of the effects of following our path), why would we need to clear our space? Shouldn't we just accept whatever is there?

Yes. And no.

Sometimes our space includes energies that are incompatible with ours. Sometimes those energies are there for our growth, but sometimes they just need to be dissipated. If your space feels murky, dark, angry or fearful, it needs cleansing.

Here's why: there's a pattern called "entrainment" (drummers are familiar with this), where patterns/energy/etc in a group may start out on different rhythms, but at some point the stronger energy draws the others into following it. Not only does this work for drummers, it also is one of the principles in healing: the healer's energy pattern of healing needs to be stronger than the client's pattern of illness (and yes, this does include herbs and medicines, since their energy patterns are built into them--remember, everything is energy linked to more energy). But back to your space.

We'll talk about personal cleansing at another time (maybe tomorrow, as long as I'm thinking about it)--suffice it to say it doesn't hurt to do it on a daily basis. But back to your space. Depending on where you live or who you live with, dark, angry, murky and fearful energies have plenty to feed on, including the energy sticking to you when you come home. No matter how clear and spiritual your space is in general, stuff seeps in if you don't attend to it. Especially with a new home, and especially if someone else has lived there, any number and type of energies may be sitting in the space you now occupy.

There are some simple ways to dissipate the unwanted energies: feng shui principles are designed to help. Doing a formal cleansing is helpful, but even informal cleansings will work. Ringing bells or even clapping (stirs the air) will dislodge these energies from corners and closets. Sage (follow with sandalwood, cedar, sweetgrass or lavender) will clear them. If you are worried about setting off the smoke detector, gently burn sage incense rather than bundles (less smoke) or even use a mister. Sophie's Potions, from Avalon (http://www.avalonbeyond.com/) makes some good ones--I especially like their anti-anxiety and spiritual cleansing mists. Windchimes are great for this, and so is your daily spiritual practice--the little things do add up. Avoiding things that bring with them those unwanted energies: I hate to sound like my parents, but let's face it--death metal does not rank among the world's happiest things. In other words, if you're concerned about clearing your space, the music you listen to, the TV you watch, the conversations you have and the people who come into your space all matter.

I am willing for this to be perfect

2011-01-07T07:38:00.000-05:00

If you aren't already following your dreams to their illogical conclusion (there's a point where logic is no longer applicable), chances are good that you have a deep, hard lesson to learn. I don't mean painful, just hard to internalize.

Trust.

You are going to have to learn to trust your gut, your intuition, your guidance. Learn to trust that yes, you DO know when it's right--that it's not just wishful thinking. Trust that YOU can make a difference in the future of the planet (not to mention yourself!). Trust that taking risks will pay off.

My risk tolerance slope weighs heavily in favor of outcome. If there's an infinitesimal risk of something happening, but the disaster associated with the event is extreme, I'm not going to put it in my top 10 list, probably. Large chance of much smaller disaster is better--I'm usually thinking about what it's going to take to recover. Obviously I don't take this to extremes--I do get on airplanes, and of course I live in Florida where we do get the occasional hurricane. I, like most people, prefer the known to the unknown.

But to really live big, to live the paths of our dreams, we have to take some risks. Sometimes it helps to figure out just what is holding up your comfort zone and start there. Can't give speeches, but want to run for Congress? Start with your local Toastmasters club. Think people are going to laugh at you when you hang your shingle as a Reiki master? Start with word of mouth. Scared that you're going to get it wrong to begin with? That's a tough one.

What do you do when you're scared you're going to get it wrong from the start--that you actually can't DO the thing you want to do? The buddy system can work here. Do the work on yourself, your plants, your friends (with permission, of course) and then trust them to tell you the truth (even the plants). Connect with source on a regular (and I don't mean semi-annual) basis. Let yourself do it right.

A thought/affirmation that popped into my head last night as I was running through the list in my head of everything I needed to do before moving today (moving house, not moving my feet), and the order and timing I wanted was this: I am willing for this to be perfect.

I am willing for THIS to be perfect.

Feel the fear and do...what?

2011-01-06T08:06:00.000-05:00

So here's the thing with fear. At its best, it's our higher self telling us to make another choice, and we interpret the signal as fear. Helps us avoid unnecessary dark alleys or golf games in lightning storms. At its worst, it paralyzes us and shrinks our list of options to nothing. Whateve the area of the fear (heights, reptiles, flying, etc), we avoid completely, and when we're forced to encounter it, it wipes us out. That's the phobia end of it.

Somewhere in between are the fears that discourage us. These are often the vague fears (as in hard to pin down or define--they aren't necessarily vague to the person feeling them!) like fear of not measuring up, fear of failure, fear of some part of the unknown that keeps us in our comfort zone.

If your fear is tangible, reasonable--a phobia, for example (never mind that phobias are not a product of reason. Their validity lies in the undeniable effect they have on people.)--it's up to you to decide if it's worth seeking therapy over. Can you fulfill your dream without addressing your fear? Can you walk your path without facing it? Again, I mean in a practical sense--it would be great to see everyone living lives of fearlessness, but really? If your path can be walked without you being desensitized to airplane travel, don't wait.

For the moment, at least, we're concerned with whatever it is that keeps you in your comfort zone. Hate crowds? The thought of giving speeches paralyzes you? Will your path be best served if you get over it? If so, can you start anyway?

Here's a tricky one (I do battle with this one, so I know first-hand how it can stop you): are you afraid you don't know enough? Do you feel like you need to have a pile of letters and certifications behind your name before you can serve? In this case, you need to know what IS enough (law school to be a lawyer, any more), and what's an excuse (the same lawyer does not necessarily need a master of laws degree). This kind of fear can keep us from jumping careers midstream, so if it's present for you -- start digging!

Checking in before checking out

2011-01-05T07:37:00.000-05:00

Do you know where in your body you experience your feelings?

We have loads of language and metaphor that address this -- we're heartbroken. We have gut feelings. Our stomach sinks. Traditional Chinese medicine assigns major emotions to major organs (such as grief to the lungs). And yet, on a daily basis, how much awareness do we have of the real placement/experience of our feelings?

When you're upset, does your throat close up? What about when you're afraid? Hurt? Confused? Happy? Certain?

Having an awareness of where you experience your feelings comes in handy when you're checking in about making changes. I'd bet that somewhere in your list are feelings of absolute connectedness and absolute dis-connectedness; if they aren't there, see if you can find them. See if you can place that knowing we have when we are in the right place at the right time (it feels a lot like love). See if you can place that knowing that something is just wrong--ever done that? Done something you KNEW was the wrong thing to do? Yeah, like that guy you went out with that one time (or twenty) because...well, because whatever, except you knew it was a bad idea, and you ignored it, and guess what? It was a bad idea.

Knowing something is wrong is a bit trickier than knowing it's right. I'm not talking about morals or ethics here, I'm talking about something that's just not the fit for your path. It's tricky because it can show up as fear, but, then, a lot of things can trigger our fear response. If you're having trouble getting out of your comfort zone and into your path, and fear is your response, you're going to have to check in with that a little harder.

The first question is: what am I afraid of? Obviously this ranges from "everyone will laugh at me" to "I'm going to fall and break my neck." If your dream since childhood is to walk a tightrope in a circus, for example. I'm not going to tell you what your decision should be for any of these--it's your path, and the world needs tightrope walkers just as much as it needs a cure for cancer (although for different reasons, I suppose).

Another question might be: "why do I want this?" Or "whose idea is this?" (that last is an incredibly important question. We live other people's ideas all the time.)

I hope you're starting this year digging into what you really want -- this is going to be the year to make it happen. But first, you're going to want to do something about those "no"s.

The blessing of "no"

2011-01-04T07:41:00.001-05:00

This is not to say that "no" in itself, as an answer, is necessarily a blessing. There are plenty of times when "no" is outright detrimental, in fact. But it brings a blessing with it, and that is this: being told "no" clarifies for us what we really want.

Got turned down for a raise? If it's money you really want, you'll go out and find it someplace else. If it's the security of a paying gig and benefits, you'll suck it up and go along until a gig with benefits that pays better lands where you can see it without much effort.

Can't find the money to get the Reiki master training you KNOW is your calling? (Lack of immediate resources is a "no.") If you really want the attunement (training is the easy part) you'll find another way...or come up with a creative way to find it.

To check in on this, the next time a thought crosses your mind (chakra training with Anodea Judith, which is on my personal list of "no"s to investigate), whatever makes it "no" (lack of funds), check in with how you feel (and where you feel it). Is it frustration? Why? Make a quick practical list of options to turn the "no" into a "yes." Same with other emotions like anger, sadness. Those are signs that you may be on to something. So is a feeling of relief, but this one comes with a tricky part (there's almost always a tricky part, remember?): why are you relieved? Is it because you can stay put? Are you accepting "no" because you're afraid to say "yes"?

Now, you may look at "no" as the Universe's way of telling you you're in the wrong place at the wrong time to do what you think you want to do, but don't use that as an excuse. If you truly believe that, and you truly want to live your biggest, most sane life ever, do everything you can to make your connection to Source as strong as possible. That way you'll know "no" when you see it, and it won't be an escape hatch to keep you from risking your current comfort zone.

I want to touch on some of these details in greater depth--probably tomorrow or the next day. My apologies--I overslept this morning and am running late, but wanted to get this thought out there. Your homework this week: ground, center, pay attention to "no."

Back to?

2011-01-03T08:03:00.000-05:00

It's a new year. We've all (or a majority of us) have made resolutions to do something differently this year--that flip of the calendar is such a handy dividing line, isnt' it?

And now the airwaves are filled with the words "back to."

Back to school, back to work, back to the routines we've established.

But what about moving forward? Do we confuse our brains when we talk about "going back to" and "doing something different" in the same paragraph?

Do we confuse our intentions when we do that? When we talk about getting back into our routine, but creating a new pattern.

What if we dropped the words "back to" from our vocabulary?

Making it count

2010-12-31T07:19:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year! May 2011 provide you with unlimited blessings and opportunities to exercise the power of your intentions.

May you be encouraged (gently) to strip away what is nonessential to your being, and wildly encouraged to live your deepest passions.

May you look back at the year just past, this time next year, and say "wow, look what I did!"

The waking dream

2010-12-30T06:04:00.001-05:00

The shamans of Peru talk about how the world is as we dream it -- that the problem is we're dreaming the wrong dream. That we need to wake into a new dream. Was it Emerson who wrote "our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting"?

Buddhist teachings, not to mention the odd western mystic or philosopher (I believe it was Bishop Berkeley who remarked that we are all figments of God's imagination, or something to that effect), say similar things. Essentially, that what we perceive as reality is just that: our perception. That the things we "know" to be true are the product of a consensual and group imagination.

Imagine the possibilities if you could, in fact, dream a new world into being. What would you dream of? In my dream, there are mountains and forest and clear running water, and animals and birds and most importantly (in my dream) people living joyous, BIG lives of creativity and passion and laughter, with no worries about the next meal, or a roof over their children's heads. Other people's dreams of waking dreams might include a world full of pets wanted by every owner, or no abused children, or people with every 't' crossed and 'i' dotted and tons of peace and quiet and classical music on every corner.

Of course, how we create a waking reality out of our dreams is the tricky part, and it's one reason I suggest volunteering. Maybe you can't see your way into a veterinary degree just yet--not with bills to pay and kids to raise, or an early retirement in your sights. But you could volunteer with the ASPCA, or the Humane Society. Maybe you aren't sure a career in hydrology is for you, so you spend a few weekends instead on river cleanups. Or taking that law degree and writing petitions for the local NIMBY group.

So that's your homework this week, while you're getting those New Year's resolutions mapped out and marked down. Take some time to sit (or lie) down and dream a new world into being. Then get up and start the work.

Pay attention to your dreams

2010-12-29T07:32:00.000-05:00

Not the waking kind. The "I'm asleep and would like to stay that way" kind. Have you ever had a dream that was so vivid, so interesting, so...whatever, that you didn't want to wake up from it? Couldn't wait to go back to sleep in hopes of repeating the experience?

Those dreams can tell us something about our waking experience. While one type of dream has been identified by dream researchers as processing information that our conscious mind didn't get to during the day, another type -- far more important, I think -- is our subconscious trying to get through and nudge us into action. (I've identified two other types of dreams in addition to the classic ones, all of which have their place.)

When you set your mind on a particular intention--say, trying to pinpoint a part of your life you want to open up your path on--your subconscious mind often swings into action while you're sleeping. I think it's because during our waking hours, our conscious mind is in charge, and it's the part that has identified all the reasons "you can't do that" (in its words). But in the wee hours of the morning, your walls are down (this is why deep meditation also works for this) and the truth can creep through. You may have to dig in to find the Truth (note capital 't'), since you are still filtering it through images your mind / brain finds familiar, but it's there.

Dream journals are often handy references for this: keep a notebook by the bed, and when you wake up, jot down as much of the dream as you can remember (at first, especially, this may be only the big images). Make note of patterns as they develop, or dreams that occur in groups (three tends to be a significant number). What do they have in common? How do you feel in the moment of dreaming? Elated? Frightened? Exhilarated? Strong emotion is an indication that the dream has some importance.

Also pay attention to whether some element of your dream appears in your waking life: it may be something you've avoided consciously noticing (such as the 'volunteers needed' sign at the local food bank). You can also use part of a dream to set your intention for the next night's dream. This usually takes some practice--follow-up dreaming, that is--so don't be surprised if you are less than successful the first few tries. Remember, your subconscious is in control here, and generally is going to bring up images you need to see, even if you hadn't planned them.

When you identify things that potentially are important to your intention, hang on to them. Start exploring them in your waking hours, either as hobby pursuits (easier to learn woodworking on a birdhouse than on the family home) or volunteer work (or you could help build a Habitat for Humanity house). Then see where it leads.

Meeting the center

2010-12-28T07:00:00.000-05:00

One of the most powerful tools for living consciously is, of course, meditation. But there's another simple tool you can use to start, and use throughout, your day even when you a) don't have time to meditate, b) can't get your brain to shut up during your meditation, or c) whatever your reason is for not meditating.

The tool (practice) is called "grounding and centering," and it's just as handy for getting your toddler to calm down as it is for getting your inner toddler to calm down. The practice. common to several religious traditions, is used to sharpen focus and open yourself up to divine intervention/guidance.

The two parts can be done together or separately as you need, and only take a few minutes (less time with practice) to bring you back to yourself, regardless of the distraction.

Grounding: the practice of grounding involves feeling yourself connected to the earth (thus enhancing stability). A good way to start is to imagine yourself sitting on the ground leaning against a tree or large boulder. Feel how strong that is, how rooted. In your imagination, now, let yourself merge into the tree or boulder. Now you are the one who is rooted. Just the imagining of this can relax your body.

Centering: centering can be used to focus when your mental energy is jumping all over the place, or when you're feeling attacked and you need to present a clear case (attacks of nerves count). This practice uses the traditional 7 chakras as a guidepost: you're looking for the solar plexus chakra, which can be imagined as a clear yellow light (it is, of course, located roughly at the solar plexus, or right about the center of your body). Of the many areas governed by this chakra's energy, the one that deals with will/focus/personal boundaries (depending on your situation) are what you're looking for. Mind you, it works just as well even if you think the chakra system is a bunch of hooey. Locate this center, imagine the yellow light. Now imagine the light spreading throughout your body. The brilliance loosens up all those irritating little energy blocks that are keeping you scattered. When your body is full of yellow light, start to pull it back in to your center. When it's back in place, in a nice, bright, yellow ball, take a few deep breaths.

Used in the morning, the dual practice is one way to get the day off to a clear-headed, focused start. During the day, when demands on your time start to pull your focus off your path, you can use one or the other or both to walk yourself back to where you need to be.

What's stopping you from starting?

2010-12-27T07:43:00.000-05:00

A lot of people seem to think that the things that hold us back apply only to the actual living of the dream.

Uh-uh.

The same things that will keep you from living it, will keep you from finding it, too.

Yes, I know--you're madly trying new things, making dream or bucket lists, seriously in search of your passion. And that's great. But I invite you to slow down for a minute and ask yourself one question: what if I slowed down and let one of these things be the passion?

Just to see what it feels like. It might feel wrong. It might feel right. But I suspect that some if not all of the time, we KNOW what our passion is; we just stop it there and pretend it isn't happening. I think there are two possible reasons for this--for the not-finding, not-recognizing. The big one is fear.

Yes, fear. Which we think is what would stop us from reaching new heights, from starting the work of living consciously. But I think, too, it stops us from recognzing our true passion when we find it. Now I know this doesn't apply to everyone, but I know it applies to someone besides me--I'm just not that special. So how do you know when fear is keeping you from recognizing The One True Thing You Are Here For? At a guess, you could start with your excuses. If even your excuses have excuses, there's a good chance fear is stepping in to stop you.

I'm not going to ask you to psychoanalyze yourself, to ask you why you're feeling that fear (or what you're really afraid of). But do ask yourself: is it right in front of me, and is fear holding shut the door?

Willing to be "wrong"

2010-12-24T06:00:00.005-05:00

When you follow your heart, your passion, someone's going to disagree. That's okay. The only way to appeal to everyone is to appeal to no one. Be willing to find your tribe, that group of people who are willing to drink your kool-aid (which you, of course, have filled with all the goodness and wisdom of life, not the icky stuff of chemical coloring, sugar, and the occasional lethal dose of dogma) and sing your praises.

I don't care if your goal is to be the world's greatest accountant, the lead soprano in a touring Gilbert and Sullivan troupe, or godmother to the world's wild orchids. Do it for yourself, do it for your soul, and do it for the people who like your style.

Don't waste your time trying to sell your art to someone who doesn't appreciate it. It diminishes both of you. Just do your thing and do it in the way only you can do it and THAT is your contribution to the world--and it's beautiful.

The Bucket List

2010-12-23T06:00:00.001-05:00

No, not jumping into movie-mode again. Talking about "the list."

There's this pop psychology trope that runs along the lines of "if you knew you were dying tomorrow, who would you call, what would you say, and why aren't you doing it today." Not getting into that, because seriously, I think knowing you're dying tomorrow lets loose a whole lot of restrictions that might make you act in an otherwise bad-idea way. And besides, we'll discuss this "live like you're dying" idea another time. Where I'm going with this is that this idea of acting because eventually you will die shows up frequently, and it sometimes takes the form of "the bucket list" (what do you want to do before you kick the bucket). And that's okay, as long as you don't get hung up on the form of it or start counting.

Because, here’s the thing….you gotta DO the stuff on the list, or what’s the point of the self-realization?

Bucket lists are good for one thing, at least—defining, clarifying, what’s really important. In Jack Canfield’s The Success Principles, one of the steps is to make that list: 100 things I want to do, see, experience, etc. before I die. Does anyone ever actually get to 100? That's what I mean by getting hung up on the form. Regardless, I did this exercise about five years ago and dropped a time-consuming, expensive hobby because of it. Not ONE of the things on my list had anything to do with the hobby that was taking up several weekends a year, time creating things to go with the hobby, money spent going to events that were centered around this hobby, and so forth. And I didn’t care enough about it to have any achievement related to it on my list of 100 things to do before I die…a list that topped out somewhere around 60, and I was including titles of books I wanted to write!

As long as you're thinking about exploding this year into the record books by finally finding (if necessary) and living your passion, go ahead and make that list. Challenge yourself to come up with 100 items, but remember, it's okay if you can't find that many. After all, "find a cure for cancer" only takes up one line, but it would be a hell of a thing to get done.

New Year, new plans part deux

2010-12-22T06:04:00.002-05:00

Making Good New Year's Resolutions

Then there are some goal-setting strategies that may help. I got this list of tips off a website called mygoals.com.

1. Create a Plan

David Allen, author of Getting Things Done and Making it All Work, says you have to get the day-to-day things working, or you’ll never see past the piles of stuff to do on your desk and to your loftier goals. (That’s the gist of GTD.) But to put it in reverse (this part is from MIAW): purpose/principles, vision, goals, projects, next actions. If one of these parts is missing, you may lose the whole thread. Your new year’s resolution could be as grand as sorting all that out and finally pursuing your vision, or it may be that you’re well underway living your vision AND goals, and just need to set out this year’s projects.

2. Create Your Plan IMMEDIATELY

New Year's Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual. ~Mark Twain

Twain might have been overly cynical, but you probably get the point. Putting off starting a goal at any time is a recipe for never getting anywhere with it.

3. Write Down Your Resolution and Plan

Writing things down seems to help our brains look on the goals as more of a commitment if we write them down. It’s also useful to schedule the steps for your goals into your calendar if that’s appropriate (setting aside time to exercise, for example).

4. Think "Year Round," Not Just New Year's

New Year's resolutions should be nothing more than a starting point. Think of them as an outline for your year.

And finally...

5. Remain Flexible

Expect that your plan can and will change. Life has a funny way of throwing unexpected things at us, and flexibility is required to complete anything but the simplest goal. Sometimes the goal itself will even change. In fact, there’s a good chance that if it does, you’ll most likely recognize that at some step, you misidentified something in your big picture: maybe your vision isn’t to bring the world a better mousetrap, maybe it’s to rid the world of mice.

But also recognize the progress you do make—sometimes we underestimate how long something will take. Going slowly isn’t a failure unless you’re trying to beat everyone else—if your goal is to finish the race, then you can work on your timing next year.

Another tip for visualization success: when you picture where you want to be a year from now -- or ever, as we start talking about vision and purpose in the big picture -- don't just imagine the visual. Imagine the emotion. The visual isn't nearly as important. If your purpose is to, for example, bring healing to the world, don't just focus on how you'll look in nurses' scrubs or a white lab coat. Imagine how it will feel to change a life.

As you may have guessed by now, although my goal with this blog is to help you find and fulfill your passion, we'll spend a fair amount of energy also talking about the day-to-day stuff. Those down-and-dirty details are what will help you realize your vision.

New Year, new plans

2010-12-21T06:00:00.009-05:00

"We spend January 1 walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives... not looking for flaws, but for potential. ~ Ellen Goodman

The new calendar year is a good time to set new plans / goals of your own in motion; you know, take advantage of the momentum created by everyone thinking, talking, and doing the same thing. Of course, when other appropriate times for reevaluation come up (more on this over the next several months), putting things off UNTIL the new year is just making excuses and giving in to fear or complacency.

As promised, today and tomorrow I'm going to drop in here an article (in two parts) I wrote for my company newsletter. It's pretty standard goal-setting information, but hopefully you can glean something helpful from it...and feel free to leave questions in the comments section.

New Year’s Resolutions: Making a list and checking it twice?

It’s like an annual curse we visit on ourselves: we make our new year’s resolutions, then follow it up with the promise that Santa’s also “making a list” to check up on us.

Never mind that Santa is just as mythological a figure as the successful new year’s resolution (that is, the odds seem to be against his/its existence, although there are claims to the contrary).

The numbers: 40 to 45% of American adults make one or more resolutions each year. Top resolutions include weight loss, quitting smoking, saving money, and paying off debt. After six months, fewer than half the people making resolutions are sticking to the plan. And yet, the same studies show that people making resolutions are 10 times more likely to attain their goals than people who don’t explicitly make resolutions.

Okay, maybe a slightly-less-than-half rate of adherence isn’t all that bad. But how can you up YOUR odds of being one of the successful ones?

What would I do over?

First, psychologists say to recognize that what you’re doing is making a change. Duh. You knew that, right? But it seems a lot of us act as if change happens to us, not by us. Change is hard. It requires the repetition of the new behavior many times before the change is set—perhaps six months down the road. We get set in the old behavior. It’s comfortable to us, and even if we know it’s not good for us, even if we really, really want to do something different, it’s tough to create that new pattern of behavior.

Second, some suggest that looking deeper than the behavior you’re changing can help. For example, say you want to quit smoking. One way to look at it is all the good things you’re creating in your life by dropping that habit. Another way is to think of it this way: what do I want to be different? One psychologist uses this with clients about to undergo plastic surgery, because it really targets the motivation. Back to smoking. What do I want to be different? Or, as Miller does with her clients, what do I wish were different from my past? Did you start smoking to be cool, as so many high schoolers do? Stress relief? If those are still valid desires, can you replace the smoking with healthier options? (Yoga is very trendy, and accomplishes both at once! And I can guarantee you, you can’t smoke and do a hot yoga practice at the same time, what with the whole breathing thing.)

Navel-gazing not for you? Think about things you’d like to be doing, and why, and how they do or do not fit in with what you’re doing now.

Take some time over the next few days--just a break from the holiday bustle--to think about where you'd really, really like to be this time next year. Tomorrow, we'll jump into some tips for successful goal setting and achieving.

When other people's priorities matter

2010-12-20T07:42:00.000-05:00

I read someplace—don't remember where, sorry, but probably a book by a Buddhist teacher—that even the highest purpose ought to be abandoned if what we once did with love, we now view as a duty.

I think there's another way to look at this: there are thousands, if not millions or billions (perhaps one for every person) of ways to serve others. And our own evolution need not be thrown out the window just because we once made a decision (there's that choice thing again) to serve in one way. The trick, of course, is to determine what is the reason you want to change (and to what degree). An example: let's say you're a doctor. Years of medical schooling, practice, all of it, and for years you loved what you were doing. One morning you wake up and hate your job. Loathe it. Now what?

Well, why? Perhaps the answer is not to leave medicine and run off to Tahiti to be a painter. Perhaps the answer is to become part of a different way of practicing medicine. Perhaps your spiritual growth has taken you in a different direction. Perhaps you feel stifled and un-helpful because of the bureaucracy. Perhaps, perhaps. Here's where you get to explore the options. What would you do if you could do anything?

That's when you have a calling, perhaps, or perhaps the change in question has to do with someone else's well-being. In those cases, I think a long hard look at what is blocking your engagement is very valuable—not just the what, but the why.

Is minimalism the new black?

2010-12-17T06:00:00.001-05:00

The new black. Whatever that means. I saw a reference to the saying recently with regards the trend of the minimalist lifestyle. Maybe "the new black" means it matches everything (or everyone), or that it's just the latest greatest trend.

Not so sure about either of those. Let's start with the "trend".

Certainly there are people who will embrace it for a short time, then go on to something else in their search for external meaning. Others, though, I think come to it as "simplicity," after decades of struggling against the consumerist tide, finally comes ashore as a wave of its own. I think that perhaps one offshoot of our general affluence is that at some point, many people come to realize the stuff in their life really does run the show: you have to have a house big enough for your stuff, you have to store it, you have to buy more of it when you can't find that what's-it you just knew you had.

And we downscale the stuff in our lives to make room for the living of them.

Minimalism is downscaling to an extreme. I don't mean that pejoratively, but factually. It's simplifying until you can't simplify any further.

To some people, that's probably going too far, but it's worth exploring as part of intentional living: how much stuff do I need to be happy? This is a question that comes up as part of the frugality and simplicity lifestyle considerations, too—but these three topics are not entirely interchangeable (perhaps 95%, so far as I can tell, but not entirely), so for now, we'll stick with minimalism.

First, it's about getting rid of the clutter. Our stuff. The stuff that makes us oh, so happy to see around us, until we realize it's just stuff. This can happen in a variety of ways. One friend realized how little her stuff meant when she had to put it all in storage for several months. And didn't miss all of it. (Of course she missed some of it.) In my case, living for the past year in a house that was big enough to unpack all my stuff for the first time in years, with nothing in storage except the things that needed storing: Yule decorations, camping gear, that sort of thing, made a huge difference in how I viewed my stuff. For example, I love my books. And other people's books. I've been reading since I was two or three years old. And my shelves were filled with books I'd loved...and hadn't read in six or eight years. Huh. I already know I don't NEED all these books. Maybe I don't even want them.

Minimalists will tell you they own what they need and nothing more. "Need," of course, is loosely defined here (see Miss Minimalist's couch post, for example), since I imagine some do take it to the extreme (we need food, shelter and clothing), while others define their needs to include art (although a minimalist will probably own just one or two pieces they really love) or other items that have some particular meaning to them. I think the important factor joining the minimalist extremes, though, is not being owned by their stuff. Often, the fact that not owning all this stuff makes their lives more flexible (choice of jobs, travel, etc) seems to play a part.

If you're interested in exploring minimalism, check out Becoming Minimalist for a wide variety of posts and articles exploring the different sides of minimalism, as well as the above links to some interesting websites (zenhabits.net is worth checking into for many, many reasons)

Do your priorities match your life?

2010-12-16T07:38:00.002-05:00

Do your priorities match? While you're thinking about that, let me follow up on yesterday's topic.

When we consider whether other people's priorities are running our lives, we're not talking about being selfish (necessarily). Others' priorities and others' well-being are not the same thing (and we'll talk about those another day). What I'm talking about is when our obligations to other people do not benefit us and perhaps hinder us. Even when they don't reach the height of George Bailey's problems.

For example: are you stuck with other people's stuff? I am ... oh, boy. I have, for example, some antique furniture. It was my grandmother's (it's not very antique: early 20th century). Fortunately, I love this furniture. But still, I feel like it isn't mine. I can't just sell it or give it away if I don't want it. It's a legacy. Perhaps you're storing something for a friend or family member. Done that, too. Here's where it gets tricky. They gave it to you because THEY didn't want to get rid of it (perhaps it's their legacy stuff). They're just shuffling their burden off to you. Now you can't get rid of their stuff, and they don't have to worry about it. Other instances: you volunteer to watch a friend's kids so she can get some alone-time. Then you do it because she asks. Can you say no? Or do you put aside whatever your plans were because "they're not important" and answer to your friend's convenience? Because you know what? It may be just that—a convenience. You're free, so she doesn't have to find a babysitter at $15 an hour. She doesn't have to schedule her plans for another time (because you did).

Why does this matter? It matters if—and only if, because really, it's not a bad thing to help out friends—you never get around to what's important to you, because what's important to others has become your only priority.

Got it? When you take home extra work that can wait until Monday, or if you freelance, you take on a project not because it meets your goals, but it makes it easier on the client, when you tell someone who is willing to meet you halfway that they don't have to go to the trouble—you'll do all the work (or driving or whatever). That's when you start getting in your own way.

So what are your priorities, and do they match? If your priority is to write the great American novel, and you spend your weekends taking on extra work, volunteering because "they need the help" (guess what? Someone else will do it if it really needs doing.), not because you find real fulfillment in the work, you just put other people's priorities (the school carnival, the unpaid take-home) ahead of yours. If your priority is health, and you put off eating better until tomorrow, your priorities don't match. If your priority is a bigger, deeper life, and you spend as much time as possible watching TV and playing computer solitaire, your priorities don't match. Turns out your real priorities are watching TV, playing solitaire, eating junk food, and avoiding the hard work. Is that who you thought you wanted to be?

The thing to do at the time

2010-12-15T06:00:00.010-05:00

So in our own sweet, harmless ways, a lot of us have that streak of George Scrooge (like how I made him one person?) in us: we perhaps drift into something, or we choose something that seems like a good idea at the time. We do this with jobs, learning opportunities, relationships, kids, all sorts of things. And somewhere along the way, we feel like our choices have disappeared. We may not consciously grumble about it. In fact, we may be mildly okay with it.

We forget it doesn't have to be this way. We've talked about this before—finding options that allow you to do what you love—and I'm not going to rehash it here (maybe later). For now, we'll leave it with this: every decision you've made – every one of them – CAN be changed. You do NOT have to do the things (or do things the way) everyone expects. Even the kids, although as a rule, polite society frowns on that sort of thing.

But mostly what I want to talk about today is a particular kind of drift, because I do this frequently, and it really can be painful—not just the emotional torture of wondering WTF you were thinking, but detrimental to your goal of living a life of conscious joy (and sanity). It's the drift we find especially glaring in George Bailey's story: the drift of meeting other people's expectations.

It's not just becoming a doctor because your parents expected it. The worst, most pervasive and perverse is when other people's expectations—in the form of their PRIORITIES—become your to-do list.

Instead of saying 'no,' we say 'yes.' Instead of sitting down to write the great American novel, we write to the market (this is not bad, by the way, if your goal is to be a bestselling author, but it is bad if your goal is to write a particular story and you don't). Instead of eating the way that makes your body feel its best, that puts you at peak performance, you graze to be polite (again, not so bad, perhaps, if you're at an intimate dinner, the host/hostess are great friends, etc, but really, at a party? Who cares if you munch on carrots and cheese cubes instead of those little quiche thingies? And if they do care, why do YOU?)

We do things that will make us look cool (every generation has its cool), instead of things that make us happy. We listen to Bach when we really want to listen to Twisted Sister (or vice versa). And so on. We schedule our lives around the convenience of other people and we don't walk away when we're unhappy because "what would people think?"

If you are anything other than completely thrilled with your life right now, I invite you to take advantage of the season, the day, the whatever to decide on just one thing to say 'no' to. Just one. Give yourself permission to not be the person everyone else wants you to be or thinks you ought to be, at least in your imagination.

It's YOUR life.

A Christmas Carol

2010-12-14T06:00:00.001-05:00

No, it's not turning into Lorena's Favorite Christmas Movies Week (although ACC ranks there--especially the George C. Scott verions, which I've been known to watch multiple times in one season, taking breaks only to see Patrick Stewart in the role). Or favorite novels, either, although I do feel obligated to point out this factoid which I saw on the news the other night: A Christmas Carol took all of six weeks to write.

I am officially jealous of Charles Dickens. The more so, because it's freezing here (it's last winter all over again!), and so I can really relate to the whole London in winter general ickiness.

But really, it's not about that. The theme for the week seems to be shaping itself into choices--intentional or accidental--and how they shape our (and others') lives.

Which is what A Christmas Carol is about. Sure, it looks like it's about friendship and love and generosity (hmm, similar themes in It's a Wonderful Life...), but it's really about living life to the best of our ability, doing what we need to do to protect ourselves, and when we have the chance to see what it might be if we hadn't done it that way (George, looking at what would have happened if he hadn't been born)...or what it might be if we keep going the way we are (Scrooge), and CHOOSING to do things differently--or from a different perspective--than we've been in the past.

Later this week or early next, I'll post the article I just finished writing for the company newsletter on New Year's resolutions. There's just one question I want to leave you with, that forms--I think--the base from which we can make these kinds of decisions. It's the question George and Ebenezer both ask through these two movies: what would I do differently?

This question isn't necessarily a look back and saying I should have done everything differently: it may be a simple jumping off point for the next path, or the next year's projects / plans: I had a great year, what would I do differently this year to take it higher and deeper. That's what we want our lives to be about, right--higher and deeper and bigger and braver?

It's a Wonderful Life

2010-12-13T07:17:00.000-05:00

Saturday, out running errands, I saw two different cars—in two different parts of town—with two different sizes of the same bumper sticker: Life is Great.

Saturday night, It's a Wonderful Life was on television. (I don't have cable, so there aren't as many classic movies on television as there might otherwise be.) Now, IaWL is not my favorite holiday movie by a long shot. It's also not my favorite Jimmy Stewart movie. In face, I find it rather grim, and this year is only the second time I've watched it from start to finish for that reason.

If you've never seen the movie, here's the movie poster version (or not): George Bailey has found his life to be one long series of disappointments. He is selfless, yet a jerk, as he gives in to what life brings him, changing plans, giving up dreams—I don't really know what drives him: perhaps an overwhelming sense of duty? He constantly harps on wanting to leave his hometown for the big, bad world, yet every time he starts to, something gets in his way: he's heading off for college when his father dies; in order to keep the meanest man in town (who never gets his, by the way) from taking over everything and destroying peoples lives, he gives up college and stays home to run the family business. And so on. He gives his college money to his younger brother, expecting to go himself when Harry finishes and comes home to take over. Harry doesn't. Eventually WWII comes along and George, with a 4F card (deaf in one ear from saving his brother's life) stays home and keeps things going. Friends and brother are off saving the world, building industries, and living their dreams; George stays home and tries to keep it all together. And no, he's not happy about it. Really, this is not a film of touching perseverance because George, frankly, is an ass.

And on Christmas Eve, when the last straw is put on his back—mixing metaphors, here—in the form of an $8,000 deposit that goes missing (Mr. Potter, the guy who wants to run everything and destroy the Baileys in the process, ends up with it, but is he found out? Oh, no....), decides he's worth more dead than alive and in a drunken stupor goes off to kill himself. Enter an angel (Clarence) out to earn his wings. He forces George to save his life instead of ending his own (good old selfless George) and then takes him on a tour of what things would have been like if he (George) had never been born.

And there's the epiphany. George, who's tried so hard to do good, really has. And despite his general surliness, all the people who've benefited from his generosity through the years, come through for him when he needs it, too. I think he realizes there's something to building a community, not just a business. At any rate, he ends the movie much happier than he is through about 9/10s of it.

So what's the point? Without reading too much into the movie, here's a takeaway for you: our lives are a series of choices, and every choice leads us to something else. Everything that went "wrong" by virtue of George not being there involved a decision on his part: saving his brother's life as a child, understanding the pain of his employer had caused a potentially fatal mistake (and preventing it from happening), choosing to run the family business instead of going off to do his thing—every one of these actions had repercussions he did not realize. In other words, he created new realities through a series of choices, not a series of accidents. He could have saved his brother's life, but then chosen to ignore the poison pills later by paying more attention to something else. He could have insisted on going to college when it came up, instead of staying home—there was no point at which something happened accidentally, even when it felt that way.

Yes, I believe in fate—but I believe that the fate-directed intersections in our lives are rarely set in stone. Those that are, we find ourselves directed to again and again (like meeting someone for the first time, and discovering you've lived in the same six cities and maybe overlapped but never met, although you should have.) Mostly, I think the intersections—the places where choices can be made—are meant for conscious creation (free will, if you like) to set the new course. Doesn't mean we always make the "right" decisions, but they are the places where we change our, and others, lives, even if we don't realize it.

If you don't like where you are, if you realize you got here due to a conscious decision, I think that's very optimistic—because it means you have choices about where to go from here.

Moving forward

2010-12-12T10:58:00.000-05:00

Seems sort of apropos that the last post (nine months ago!) was about making choices and discovering not only what suits us, but what doesn't.

I spent most of this past year exploring that latter bit. I now know LOTS of things that don't fit my visioned path, because I spent a good chunk of my time doing them. Not intentionally. Or at least, not with my highest and best intentions!

Drifting into life "at the last minute." We do this a lot. Or at least I do this a lot, and I doubt that I'm the only one. Life at the last minute is life in what Stephen Covey calls "urgent" (some important, others not, so I'm not going to assign it a specific quadrant).In other words, we're doing things when they HAVE to get done: bills paid "at the last minute." Gift shopping or holiday prepping "at the last minute." Walking at the door at the last minute that gets us to work within five minutes of being on time, not taking the car to the shop until we can't ignore that noise or us to the hospital because that pesky cough won't go away.

It's life according to deadline, which is something I'm very good at. It comes in handy sometimes, because it does mean you don't freeze at the thought of a deadline, but if you aren't careful, they sneak up on you because you're so busy dealing with the rest of the "last minute" that you don't put in the time you need to on the next thing.

This hurts when you're trying to, say, write a novel while you're doing edits for the last one. Or plan a new campaign for your business while you're struggling to figure the ROI in time for the board of directors meeting on the last campaign.

One of the things we'll explore over the coming weeks is how to move out of "last minute" living and into living in the present (the two are not the same), while creating the next "present" (aka planning for / creating the future).

Having spent a fair amount of time this year doing things that don't move me toward my goals had this effect: in the midst of grumbling to myself about it over the past few days, it narrowed down for me the focus of this blog: over the next several months, we'll be talking about things that center on conscious lifestyle choices (not just mine, but any interesting ones I come across, such as minimalism) and how we make choices that move us in the direction of our passions, of broadening our vision but narrowing our focus. We'll talk about hopes and fears and overcoming the challenges of both. I hope to do some interviews with people who found their passion, the later in life the better, and how they turned dreaming into living. Their conscious sanity.

Welcome back.

Too much to do: exploring your passions

2010-03-25T07:08:00.000-04:00

I have what I like to call an empty calendar allergy. It's stronger than an aversion, more like a compulsion. Even as I'm spinning in circles (like a Sufi dancer, I hope--enlightenment / ecstasy to be obtained in the process), hoping for some downtime, it's almost impossible for me to accept HAVING it.

There's too much to do, so little time. As Lynnette pointed out in her comment yesterday, we can have quite a laundry list of 'passions' to occupy us....and how do you know what the 'one' is? Maybe it's like knowing 'who' the one is when we meet him? Maybe it requires trusting your intuition to pull you in the right direction, no matter where that direction leads, accepting life as an exploratory adventure as much as a well-lit path with a certain destination.

It's not about drifting. It's not about learning to like something. It might be about trying something, just to discover it consumes you. I gave rock-climbing a try last month. I'd been dying to do it for years--I loved the memory of clambering up rocky hills and bluffs as a kid, loved living near the Rockies as an adult--mountains within reach, so beautiful it almost hurts to have all that rising up in you and in front of you. I truly love mountains. Although apparently not enough to move to one. Same with forests. Love being amid the trees and rocks of a northern woodland. Not crazy about hanging out in the woodlands of Florida (remember that fear thing? I really am okay never facing how I feel about reptiles. They have their place in the world, and we / they should not be occupying it together. Just sayin'). Yet, I live in Florida, because of all the things I love and want to do / be / whatever...most of them sit here. If I won the lottery (I understand...playing increases those odds substantially), I might not live here, so I guess part of what I care about is my job.

But back to rock climbing. I wanted to climb. I could see myself doing it, even though heights terrify me. This, perhaps, is key--if you are willing (or anxious) to try something despite your fear, and not because of it (in other words, it's about the doing, not the facing of the fear), that's a good sign it's something you should do more of. But that doesn't make it a passion--makes it something worth doing. Rock climbing? I liked it. Will do it again. A passion? Not to the extent of consuming my life. Not something I'd take vacations to do, although I might make it part of one spent doing something else. See the difference?

I think we'll be looking at this more deeply--it seems like a lot of people have a lot of things they care about, and spend a lot of time doing...and it seems to divide their energy. Some of the people I admire most have one or maybe two deep passions, and it consumes their life. Not saying that's good or bad (might depend on the person), but it's definitely worth talking about.

Opening up and taking in

2010-03-23T06:46:00.000-04:00

Hat tip to Jennifer Todd of Just Breathe Orlando for making me see chakras from a different perspective. She's doing a series of classes on the chakras, and I've missed all of them except last night's on the brow chakra (aka the third eye). There's definitely something for me to explore there--a new way of looking at how our lower chakras (lower on the body, I mean--that is, root through solar plexus) open to place us in the world and in our reality. If you're in the Orlando area, check her out.

I'm also in the middle of a book called Advanced Chakra Healing (the author escapes me at the moment, and the book is in another room). It's part of why I went to Jennifer's class last night.

While I spend a fair amount of time talking to people about their passions, and what living their truth means to them, I sometimes forget to check in with myself--I often end up drifting into things that are good, are helpful, aren't 'me.' One of the paths that turns me on is energy work. I have a hard time seeing how I can use that as anything more than interesting fun (emphasis on 'I'), so it gets shoved to the back except for almost daily Reiki on myself and when requested by others. Journeying is another love. A lot of the journeying I do for healing (of self and others) includes energy work, which is probably not typical for shamanic practice, but seems to be just right for me. So now I'm consciously checking in with Jennifer's work, and the work laid out in this book, to ramp up how I combine the two practices--it feels right, so I think I'm onto something.

'nough about me, though--how about you? Do you see a glimmer of what you could really love to do a lot of?

Intent: be selfish

2010-03-22T06:54:00.002-04:00

Today, do just one thing that means everything to you, whether it means anything to anyone else.

Fear and consequences

2010-03-19T07:04:00.000-04:00

"You must do the thing you think you cannot do." - Eleanor Roosevelt

I don't know the context of that line, so I'm going to make one up. I don't think it's the same as saying you have to face your fears--really? Stand outside in a lightning storm just to prove you can?

But I do think that when it comes to making your life take a path that means something to you--when it comes to creating a life of passion and meaning--you cannot let what scares you hold you back.

Unfortunately, I think a lot--maybe most--of us do exactly that. We are afraid to be great. Afraid that if we do this, that we will be expected to do it more than once--and what if once is all we have?

Once might be enough, you know. Harper Lee changed the world with To Kill a Mockingbird.

But worse--what if you never try? What if trying once led you to a place where doing exactly whatever it was you were meant to be doing was all that was in front of you? What if the gods were just waiting for you to be right there to shower you with blessings beyond imagining--you just had to be standing under the right waterfall thinking the right thing?

What draws you--what creates the path in front of you--is always important, or you wouldn't be doing it. I've said it before--paying the bills is a strong motivator and a great reason to do whatever it is you're doing. But somewhere in your life, immerse yourself in what matters most.

The one(s) that got away

2010-03-18T08:01:00.000-04:00

Regret for the things we did not do is inconsolable...or so I've read. I suppose that depends on whether you feel regret--or perhaps, whether you can instead let go of it and recognize (among other things--I'm typing VERY fast this morning, so trying to keep it simple while I eat breakfast and rush off to work) that just because you didn't act on an option in front of you--even one that made all your senses sing--doesn't mean you made a bad choice.

I was proofreading an interesting computer book the other day (yes, actually interesting) and remembered the classes I took in college and kind of wondering whether if I'd done something with that, if I'd have ended up doing something interesting, important, and lucrative.

Then I remembered that 99% of the time I find computer manuals really, really boring, and I'd have to know the boring stuff to get to do the interesting stuff. So in the end, that was easy.

But some choices aren't so easy. I suggest that when we feel regret for something we didn't do (or did, for that matter), that we sit with the question 'what if' for a few minutes. See how it feels to have lived that choice. If it feels really, really good, maybe that's a sign to do something about it--there is very little in life that is too late to do (major league baseball and other people's spouses or jobs being among the things you probably should just let go of) -- but was your passion really to run WalMart? Or was it to own a successful business, supplying whatever it is that you think WalMart supplies? Was it to be curator of a great museum, or was that a cover for fear of an archeology degree and digging in the dirt (or vice versa)?

It's easy to let go of the choices that "might have been" if you concentrate on "what do I really want now."

No teacher but myself

2010-03-12T06:29:00.000-05:00

Wednesday's post came from a section in Pema Chodron's book where she's discussing teaching the dharma to yourself. And then I opened Spiritual Liberation to this: Beckwith talks about opening ourselves up to Spirit (having an 'existential encounter'), to filling ourselves with "fire from heaven" and listening to the messages of Spirit in cultivating particular qualities (or fill in the blank with any message you like, I suppose—if you're looking for clarity on a life path, for example). And then observing throughout the day where we stand. Asking ourselves, he says, "Where is my consciousness?" I think we forget—I know I do—that although the teacher is helpful, sometimes even necessary to provide us with some idea of where to go and what the path might look like along the way, we don't really need an intermediary of any kind—no teacher but ourselves, no tool of divination but our own willingness to sit on the cushion and check in.

Starting where I am ... wherever I am

2010-03-10T19:24:00.002-05:00

"Each time you're willing to see your thoughts as empty, let them go, and come back to your breath, you're sowing seeds of wakefulness, seeds of being able to see the nature of mind, and seeds of being able to rest in unconditional space. It doesn't matter that you can't do it every time. Just the willingness, the strong determination to do it, is sowing the seeds of virtue." (Pema Chodron, Start Where You Are, p 86)

Finding random bits of wisdom

2010-03-09T06:04:00.003-05:00

Michael Bernard Beckwith is one of those shining lights of truth and magic. Every once in awhile, I actively remember that and go pull my copy of Spiritual Liberation off the shelf and open it randomly, seeing what Spirit pops me with. Sunday, I did that, pulling off the same shelf Pema Chodron's Start Where You Are and Gregg Braden's The Divine Matrix ... looking for random bits of wisdom to post this week while I sort some things out and decide if anyone but me is interested.

So I opened Spiritual Liberation to this: Let us not make excuses for ourselves. ....Gandhi....the Dalai Lama, and other emissaries of peace...are all ordinary people who have responded to life in an extraordinary way. Their mothers weren't virgins; they didn't arrive on the planet by special means. ... It is not necessary to don monastic robes or clerical collars...to be counted among the growing number of spiritual revolutionaries. ... Start Right Where You Are [header] (Spiritual Liberation, pp 124, 125)

Huh. Here I am in the middle of a periodic reevaluation of what's going on and how (or whether) I'm contributing anything to the spiritual well-being of the world (and beating myself up over the lack of progress on several things over the past couple of months), and I open this book at random to find a heading staring at me that is similar to the title of the next book in the stack. And it's a great reminder: Start where you are. Not being a terribly accomplished quantum magician, I'm pretty sure I do not have the ability to go back and change anything. I have to start where I am. Truthfully, I've started from worse places, so I suppose that's an improvement.

Blaming it on the weather

2010-03-08T06:47:00.003-05:00

I'm blaming it on the weather. Note the date of my last post: Groundhog Day. Nearly six weeks ago (I've been counting). During that time, it has continued to be cold and icky and windy, and....really, what's up with that? I LIKE winter in Florida. I LIKE being able to open my windows and turn off the heat and air conditioning both. I do NOT like two solid months of what we've had for the past two solid months.

It's thrown me off balance, off track. Which feels like an excuse, and not a good one. The last time I felt this knocked off balance (by the weather, at least), it was the fall of 2004. You know, after three hurricanes in six weeks.

So Saturday night, driving to an event where I was doing tarot readings, I was talking to myself in the car (out loud, which is the only way that counts...just thinking a conversation isn't the same thing): I refuse to be defeated by the weather. Not sure that matters, now that it's finally starting to warm up. But more than that, I've decided to take my own advice. In my creativity workshop, I tell people: when you can't be creative—when it just isn't flowing—do it anyway. (Whatever 'it' happens to be.) Even if you can only do a little—since I'm generally talking to writers, the advice is to write 100 words a day. Because the doing will bring about the creativity and spark to do. So it might be a week of 'random bits of wisdom,' but I'll blog. I went to the farmers' market Saturday, in defiance of my (overscheduled) calendar. Went for a hour-long walk yesterday (my intention is to walk for an hour each day—I did it on a treadmill at the gym, I ought to be able to find the time to do it without the drive!). And I opened myself up to some random intersections of truth (more on that issue another time) to propel me along the path. Whatever the weather.

Groundhog Day

2010-02-02T20:22:00.000-05:00

Leaving aside the question of whether a groundhog can predict the weather (six more weeks of winter? EEK! Have I mentioned I'm kind of over winter right now?), I'm going to dive off the usual path and do an existential review of the movie. You remember it, right? Bill Murray plays an overwhelmingly self-assured weatherman who finds himself stuck on the same day (with Sonny and Cher waking him up every morning) until....ta-da!...he makes some big changes. Not just playing the piano, or finding out what Andie McDowell's favorite drink is, but somewhere along the line, he starts doing good and having fun and enjoying other people...for the sake of doing good and having fun and the other people--not just whether it's going to get the girl. Only when he has a complete inner transformation, AND resigns himself to the circumstances (he's aware he's repeating the day), is the spell, curse, whatever, broken.

Classical magical fairy tale: transformation requires love, faith, and frequently a crap-load of pain, but it's only by going through it that we move beyond it and return to (or discover) our true selves.

Positive Thinking?

2010-02-01T20:42:00.002-05:00

Actually, it’s the power of thought. Thought precedes formation, right? At least nine times out of ten? Of course, casual accidents happen too (those unconscious choices, perhaps). I’ve never been entirely convinced about this, though (for the next few sentences, please ignore Monday’s post). Where’s the evidence? No, more evidence than that. The born skeptic that I am, it’s not enough for me to hear that X created a million-dollar-empire (usually by preaching the power of positive thinking) simply because he envisioned it. Because never mind that he DID (there are some pretty good examples out there, by the way—it’s not that I’m being sarcastic), I’m just not sure it can happen for me.

Quantum physics playing a role? Who knows? I’m fascinated by the possibility (oh, boy, am I fascinated by the possibility), but a) I’m not a scientist, and b) well, I’m not a scientist. I simply don’t know. And I can’t seem to hold onto the thoughts long enough to see what happens. Except sometimes they do. But then there’s random occurrence, so how do I know that what happened this time wasn’t a fluke, a coincidence?

Yes, this is very open ended. I’m looking for…I don’t know what I’m looking for. I’m not looking for “The Secret” or one of its off-shoots. I guess I’m looking for hard evidence, not a sign, but a pattern, that thought can create physical reality in more than the inspired-inventions sense.

Ah, but there’s the catch (or a catch). See, inspired inventions are an excellent example of thought creating form. Not in the sense of “poof” (wouldn’t that be cool, though? THAT’S what I want!), but in the sense that someone thought “this could be” and found a way to make it happen. The first guy to think of an automobile. (Or maybe the guy who thought of the internal combustion engine.) Nicola Tesla. Albert Einstein. Thought creates form if we are willing for it to. If we have a vision so strong, it withstands hundreds of attempts (think Edison and light bulbs. I don’t recommend thinking Edison and electric chairs, though, because that’s just disturbing.).

Note to self: experiment with—silly as it sounds—cutting all negative thought off at the pass. Positive focus only. What might happen?

Getting it in writing

2010-01-29T09:58:00.000-05:00

I realize not everyone writes everything down the way I do. I don’t understand it, but I do realize it. I also realize not everyone analyzes stuff down to the subatomic level I do. Frankly, I suspect that’s a lot more comfortable. Except analyzing stuff, asking questions, is kinda fun. So, go figure.

But you don’t want to get stuck there, right? You don’t want to spend the rest of your life dreaming about climbing a mountain, only to die with sixty versions of your ideal scene (containing the “I climb mountains on holiday” intention), forty lists of what to pack and “get passport” on every to-do list for the past decade…and no travelogues of your own.

Writing it down doesn’t get it done. It does, however, help us create a picture to align with. It can help firm up our intention. It can make us feel so damned guilty that “get passport” is STILL on the to-do list (I do my to-do lists in Excel so I can easily prioritize and update them. Is that a sign of weakness?) that we either cross it off undone so we don’t have to look at it any more (consciousness!) or go get a picture and fill out the paperwork, no matter that we still have twenty pounds to lose and no money for an airline ticket to Nepal.

Writing it down doesn’t get it done, but it can goad us into action. Partly this is because we’re programmed to avoid cognitive dissonance, and creating a picture of what we want creates dissonance that we will try to resolve. And there are only two ways to resolve it: change, or pretend change isn’t necessary. (Cognitive dissonance often results in something like Douglas Adams’ “someone else’s problem field,” which is the idea that we will ignore really weird things if we don’t think we need to do something about them.)

So go ahead, write it down. Once. Review it as necessary—maybe once a year. Create new heights to aspire to, new views to admire. But then go out and do the things that need to be done. Writing it down won’t get them done. Only doing them will.

I did what???

2010-01-28T08:34:00.002-05:00

So here’s the thing with that great view in front of you. You got here because of a series of choices. The same goes for any not-so-great view, perhaps the same one you’ve been staring at for more years than you care to count. Doesn’t matter whether you’re desperately trying to create the life of your dreams—your own consciously sane style—or whether you’re there and just popping in to say hi, how ya’ doin’.

What matters is, you’re here (wherever “here” is). And, as I said, you’re here because you made choices. If your life to this point has been unconsciously insane, you may not have known you were making the choices you did—or they seemed like a good idea at the time. We drift into choices an awful lot.

It can be tempting to spend more than a few minutes (more of that over-analysis stuff) wondering how we got here and what we should’ve/could’ve/would’ve-if-we’d-known done differently.

Don’t.

It’s a waste of time and energy. Voice of experience talking to herself here. I am the queen of woulda-coulda-shoulda (It’s a beautiful country, but the view doesn’t change much; don’t like the weather? Tough. It’s not likely to change.) but I decided this year (finally) to abdicate my throne. I’m hoping it will get covered over with ivy and grass and other sorts of useful things for birds to nest in.

Where was I. Oh. Right. The view.

No matter what the view is—no matter what peak you’re perched on, how you got there is important for two reasons: one, you learned something that will help you create the path to the next peak, or two, (its inverse) you learned something you don’t ever want to do again. Ever. What keeps us stuck in the “what if,” though, is when we think about all the lovely trails we didn’t go down on our way here. Why do we think about them? In my experience, there’s only one real reason to “what if” the other trails (this is slightly different from the woulda-coulda-shoulda, which often carries a boat load of regret with it): we didn’t plan on reaching this point, it wasn’t where we thought we were going, and we aren’t sure it’s where we want to be (yes, that’s only one reason!). In other words, all the time we were hiking the path, we were unconscious of what we wanted.

This is NOT the same as exploring, or indulging curiosity. This is drifting. This is working, loving, living in a way that we just haven’t thought about, but maybe someone else told us it was the thing to do. And suddenly we’re here (wherever “here” is) and not sure why.

So, what next? No idea. But here’s a suggestion. Take a look around. Find the part of the path you most enjoyed walking. Find the particular angle of the current view that appeals to you most. Then let go. Realize that if you really want to, you can always walk back down the path and pick one of those trails (there are a few that are impassable by now, but only a few, and…well, as the saying goes, suck it up, because you’re here, not there) to explore. But also realize that it’s always possible you made the right choices all along.

Stop to think...or not

2010-01-27T06:55:00.001-05:00

Sometimes, you just have to stop thinking. Granted, most people’s problems seem to be related to them not stopping AND thinking, but sometimes, you get stuck because you think too much.

There are two ways to over-analyze something. One (my personal favorite) is to pick up all the little things no one else notices and give them a good long look. This is often aggravating to the person (or people) otherwise involved for a variety of reasons. But sometimes it results in little gems that lead you to a whole new place to view the world from.

That’s the point at which you should stop thinking. It’s the point at which a lot of us stop and do more of it instead—usually along the lines of “how did I get here, where do I go next”—instead of taking a breath and a bottle of water and fifteen minutes or so to enjoy the view. Worse, we sometimes follow “how did I get here” with “what should I have done differently?” (More on this particular bit tomorrow.)

The other way to over-analyze something is to keep thinking about it—planning, planning, planning. Writing lists and goals and ideal scenes and lists and goals and oh-look-at-that-way-to-do-it and lists … you get the idea. The point of a to-do list is to, well, DO. I love lists—write ‘em all the time. But we often spend too much time thinking about what we want, and not nearly enough time creating it. Trust me, if writing it down was what made it happen, I’d be the richest size six on the planet. (More on this later, too. The writing down stuff, not the size six stuff.)

Sure, to be conscious about your life, instead of drifting through, you’re going to have to think about it. But to create it, you’re going to have to stop thinking and just do.

Is anyone watching?

2010-01-26T07:03:00.000-05:00

So I have these weeks….

Right. Don’t we all? Where we can talk about what we’re doing, or we can do it, but there isn’t time for both? Or is that just a matter of organization or getting too-easily distracted??

What's even worse is that was the beginning of YESTERDAY'S post. Sheesh. You'd think I didn't like to talk, or write, or something.

I do, of course. Both. So when I got home last night, it was all about the priorities--writing, editing, proofreading. New proofreading project (big one) due Monday, edits for a novella due back to the editor ASAP because it's the final round and now we can go to galleys, and the book-of-my-heart project (two sequels and a three-novel story arc already taking shape in my head).

And then this morning, rushing around because I'd let my brain get wired up and couldn't fall asleep and so overslept, I remembered: people are watching me.

No, not in a paranoid sense. Please, if you have paranoiac tendencies--even if they are really after you--what I have to say is all good, I promise! But over the last few weeks I've caught myself many times grumbling along the lines of 'no one even notices what I do.' Which of course isn't true, but it was true enough for me that I was bitching about it. (Note to those of you who know, love, and are laughing at me: I do try not to bitch about things that aren't real.)

Then, quietly, snuck in when I wasn't expecting it, I started getting 'good job' nods from people who had some say over the work I was doing. An editor double checking the novella for a second pair of eyes loved it. The proofreading coordinator I was freelancing for told me. My boss told me. But yesterday was the kicker: people I didn't even know should be paying attention told me. Not in words, but in actions. In a meeting yesterday, we got a look at website stats for December--hundreds of people were hitting the blog I post for work. People I didn't know were paying attention were paying attention.

Granted, that's a nice ego boost (since they weren't leaving nasty comments), but it was also the reminder I needed: do what you need to do, and trust that it's seen where it needs to be seen. Whether it's an act of ego or service (with writing books, that line gets blurred, especially since I tend to loosely define service as "that thing you must do for yourself whether anyone likes it or not, but it's best if it helps other people"; in other words: what you are here for), someone, somewhere, is going to be touched by what we do. A test of your own truth, I think, is whether you'd change what you were doing based on what you know about who's watching. If you wouldn't--if you are pouring yourself into it (and adjusting where need be--want a reminder it's not all about you? Sit through a round of book edits!), regardless of who's watching: that's the truth. That's where you should be. It may not negate the need for an audience on a practical level (if your truth is teaching, you must have someone to teach--but the deeper truth is how/why), but it's done REGARDLESS of the audience.

Doesn't really matter whether we know about it or not.

Guided by intuition

2010-01-21T06:59:00.000-05:00

Been kind of a weird week, and every time I sit down to write blog posts, whoosh!, there goes another day. But I'm here now, it must be meant to be.

Signs and portents everywhere. At least, that's what some people will tell you. I see them myself, although I admit that I'm more often skeptical (that's my next book--The Skeptical Mystic. Or maybe not.) about what I, or anyone else, might consider "a sign."

I'm also skeptical about what my intuition tells me. I don't know if I was born hyper-analytical--Mom didn't put anything like that in my baby book. You know: Lorena spoke her first words today. I was hoping for "mama," or even "dada," but imagine my surprise when the first thing she said was "prove it!"

Okay, I'm not quite that skeptical. And there are probably a lot of people who look at what I believe (or they think I believe) and assume I'm not analyzing any of it, since of course it makes more sense to believe it their way (post on the comparative 'huh???'s of religion, atheism, and what-have-you to come later when I don't mind ticking off everyone I know). For now, back to intuition.

The tricky thing to following your intuition is actually two-fold, which conveniently creates a middle way to follow. First, you have to trust what it's telling you (this is the part that gets me, because I'm over-reliant on step two). You also have to trust that what it's telling you is significant, rather than stating a preference OR presenting you with a thought based on a projection of what you want. I tend to worry about this part a lot, which means I don't really trust what my intuition says until something or someone confirms it. So if my intuition is screaming at me (I can be a little hard of cosmic hearing), I look for signs, and then I worry about coincidence and projection and all that and I'm back where I started.

So what does a skeptic who understands that there is something to this intuition business, but isn't really sure it applies now, do?

I suggest going with it. Take notes if you want--teachers seem to always recommend journaling things like intuitive moments--or moments that you think are intuitive, at least--and dreams. This gives you a record, which can be kind of handy later. It's also handy if something happens that you think might be related to your intuitive impulse, because then you learn to build connections between your symbols. Getting things "wrong" uses the same probabilities as getting things "right." So if intuition is saying "wear red" (or your subconscious is perhaps projecting a preference) and you wear red, and there's an unexpected meeting called and it goes well (red being a power color), then the next time intuition says "wear red," you say, "huh. Maybe I should wear red. Might be nothing to it, but maybe the Universe is letting me know I need to be on my best game today." And you see what happens, and you pay attention to the difference in feeling so you learn to distinguish between intuition and subconscious statements of preference (making them conscious).

This is not superstition, by the way--it's not the same as ritual behavior that must be done before you make a move. It can be, of course, but then people can create rituals out of anything, including looking for inner guidance. But "I must wear red" isn't the same as "I must spit on my lucky shoes before the first pitch." In the first case, the intuition comes, and you act without particular expectation as to the outcome. You simply say, this may be an indication of xyz. In the second case, you assume your actions must be done in a particular way in order to affect the outcome. Wearing red when you know the meeting is scheduled is only superstitious if you think of it as your lucky color, not as a color that has been shown to psychologically impact people as a power color.

Intuition--whether it's your subconscious mind uncovering information you've taken in through the usual channels and stored, or the voice of God letting you in on something no one else knows--is real. It's worth learning how to maneuver past the tricky parts to allow yourself to be guided by it well.

Following your heart

2010-01-15T16:18:00.000-05:00

Okay, before we get into what I really want to say, I want to make one thing very clear: you might need a vacation.

Sometimes we get caught in the daily grind and get to a point where we’ve forgotten to take care of our Selves, our innermost beings, adequately enough. Sometimes, what’s wrong isn’t so much that something’s wrong as that we really need a break.

It seems like it shouldn’t be that way, and maybe it shouldn’t. Maybe living a life of sanity—of inspiration and enchantment and entrainment with Source should be so fulfilling, that taking a vacation really means just getting a different view to look at for a few days, because the rest of it’s going exactly the way it ought to be. It may be that most of us are somewhere in the middle—moving toward that space, but still holding our obligations and commitments in a space where they drain us and we have to recharge.

So I just wanted to make clear that just because right now things really are sucking lemons (if they are) or even if you’re just worn down, it might be that you need a different view—it doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong.

Because you are following your heart, right?

What does that mean, anyway? Like the old line “if it feels good, do it”? Isn’t that just a copout on our commitments and choices and an act of selfishness?

No. Not if it’s true. If you are truly following your heart, you had better be walking away from the things that don’t nurture you. But more, you should be walking TOWARD the things that DO. Following your heart isn’t a reaction to boredom. If your soul is restless, it’s not because the sex isn’t as good as it used to be, or the job has turned into the same old-same old. Your 9 – 5 completely mundane job at the supermarket can be as fulfilling as … oh, pick a profession. Whatever you think is glamorous. It doesn’t matter. Because unless your heart is telling you “be a doctor,” who cares if you pay the bills by bandaging knees or pay them by selling bandages? If your path and your passion is writing mystical poetry, spend what time you can writing mystical poetry, and the rest of it finding inspiration.

Making room

2010-01-14T07:57:00.002-05:00

Dark moon today (new moon is at 2:12 a.m. tomorrow). Excellent time to think about the dark spaces in our lives.

It’s not that there’s nothing there, any more than a dark moon is equal to no moon at all. We just can’t see what’s there. Or maybe we refuse to look. Or we look in the wrong direction.

Or maybe it’s stuff we should be letting go of.

Maybe we look at that dark-moon space and think—I could put something there. I could fill that with love and joy and creativity and…but then you go there and discover that there’s something already there, you just weren’t paying that much attention to it. You thought you didn’t spend that much time watching TV, for example, until you go to block out play time, or writing time, or whatever-it-is-that-fulfills-you time, and catch yourself in an old habit of, say, Criminal Minds. Not that I spend any time watching that, or anything. Or Life After People. We create this dark hole of background in our lives—reading the paper, watching TV, surfing the net, playing that silly bubble-shooting game until our brain looks like we’ve been doing crack. And we don’t realize that the hole has become the whole until we try to put something in the corner it occupies.

We often think we “can’t do without” whatever it is that takes up space—whether it’s energy space, time space, or physical space—even though if we looked at it objectively, we’d realize that just like the statisticians say, 90% of the time we wear 10% of the clothes in our closet. And the reason we haven’t written the great American novel or trained to run the Boston Marathon is that we spend our time doing things that in the end—or even in the now—mean next to nothing to us.

If you skipped the news, how much time would that free up? If you stopped watching TV, or cleaned out your closet, or did away with gossip, what changes in the paradigm of your day? If you let go of the things you don’t care about, how much room would you have for the things you love?

Not-so-random Wisdom

2010-01-13T06:29:00.002-05:00

Life can be found only in the present moment. The past is gone, the future is not yet here, and if we do not go back to ourselves in the present moment, we cannot be in touch with life. Thich Nhat Hanh

Escape?

2010-01-12T06:52:00.000-05:00

Is it possible to use good-for-you things as an escape from the daily grind?

I think it is, believe it or not. I think it is possible to spend too much time meditating, too much time exercising, too much energy doing whatever it is that looks like something you ought to be doing to make your life work.

Note: it is not possible to spend too much time doing whatever it is that DOES make your life work, only those things that LOOK like something you ought to be doing.

In other words, if you need to train five hours a day for that marathon that will fulfill you, that’s good. Do it. Enjoy.

But if you’re training five hours a day when one is sufficient, and you’re using the other hours to avoid something (anything) else, like the fact that if you were truly yourself, you'd be off on a meditation retreat getting in touch with your childhood trauma and inviting it home for tea, that might be a problem.

If the good you are doing is moving you closer to your truest self, to living your life feeling loved, connected, and joyous, it’s good. If it’s helping you avoid the part(s) of your life where you feel unconnected, unloved, or in pain…maybe not.

Letting go of choices

2010-01-11T14:32:00.000-05:00

Like it or not, there isn’t room in our lives for everything.

Some things are mutually exclusive: you cannot be a vegetarian and eat Kobe beef, for example. Some things are not-so-mutually exclusive: to some extent, you can be a couch potato and have a yoga practice.

For some people, letting go of the option of making a decision about things to include and exclude in their lives is essential—or at least really damned useful. Gretchen Rubin, of The Happiness Project, suggests that some people are abstainers and other people are moderators—that is, some people need to give up chocolate altogether to kick a candy habit, other people can be satisfied with two M&M’s a day (I have friends like that. I don’t understand it, but I have witnessed it.). Some people have to quit smoking cold turkey, others can gradually let go.

I am an abstainer, for the most part. When I’m making a change slowly, I tend to be very conscious of WHY I’m not doing it all at once. For example, if I were to make the decision to become a vegetarian, it’s impractical for me to simply empty my cupboards and refrigerator and restock with all veggies. (unless you’re doing it for a health emergency, in which case the priorities change drastically, don’t they?) What IS practical is to make buying meat a non-option. In other words, I can cook what I have, but there’s no more coming in. This way, I don’t have to think about how much I’m buying to stay 'on track' (I’m having two meat meals this week, so that’s….you know what I mean), nor do I have the option of heading to the grocery store later in the week just ‘cause I feel like it. It’s not an option. I might have six weeks’ worth of steak in my freezer because I went shopping before I made the decision, but there won’t be any more coming in.

Part of being consciously sane is deciding—since there isn’t room for everything—what isn’t optional and making that happen. You do this, in part, by forming a complete picture of how you want your life to feel, and then doing only that. It’s like the old story of the guy talking to the sculptor about how he creates, and the sculptor says “easy, if I want a sculpture of a horse, I just cut away everything that doesn’t look like a horse.”

That third ear? Not an option.

Finding passion--making the path

2010-01-08T06:48:00.002-05:00

Some people, it seems, have it easy. They know what they want, have always known. Don't necessarily do it to pay the bills, but it's so all-encompassing, that there's no question in anyone's mind: this is her passion. My friend R is like that. She travels as part of her career path because it's one way for her to honor and feed her passion: the paranormal. Ghosts and UFOs, big creatures, that sort of thing. Another friend combines her passion for inner knowing with a strong sense of justice: she's a psychic detective. I have friends who are doctors, or cops, because they simply couldn't be anything else.

Some people know what they love, but don't have the courage to leave what they're doing now—or stop something else—to make room for it (this is your year to change that, you hear me?).

Other people, as one friend commented the other day, don't know what their all-consuming passion feels like.

There are books, and organizations, designed to help you find it. They'll tell you to make lists. To think back to what you wanted to do when you grew up (when you were five. I think I wanted to be a pioneer.). "They" make it sound so easy.

But what if it isn't that easy? What if you buried your true self so deeply that it's like exhuming bones from an ancient burial site? And what if you did this before you were conscious of any of it? What if the path to discovering your true passion is actually part of your journey? And what if you gave yourself permission to just take a couple of day trips to check it out?

Fearlessness

2010-01-07T07:37:00.000-05:00

I am in the right place at the right time.

That can be a hard thought to hold, sometimes. Seems over-simplistic. A little too crystal-bunny-hugging Pollyanna-ish. Right place, right time, when the world is falling apart?

What if you dove into the thought, truly believed it? Can you find a reason, or at least a kernel of faith, that this might truly be the right place, right time?

Sometimes we end up in places--relationships, experiences, actual geography--for reasons that are unclear until farther down the path when we turn around to see what got us here and realize we wouldn't have been here "if not."

Not-so-random Wisdom

2010-01-06T15:17:00.002-05:00

Acknowledging that we are all churned up is the first and most difficult step in any practice. Pema Chodron (The Places that Scare You)

Finding your path

2010-01-05T06:53:00.000-05:00

Originally I was going to post a short journey/meditation, but after a conversation with my friend K2 yesterday, it seemed like a good time to explore the path of passion a few steps further (it's still a journey!).

Rumi: let the beauty you love be what you do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.

This is absolutely one of my favorite observations. Let the beauty you love be what you do. There are a million paths to Source (actually, 6 billion and counting)...and THAT is all that is required of you. THAT is where your passion leads--to being so connected with Source that everything else falls into place. It is, for most of us, a life-long journey just making our way to where we are aware of the connection once in a while. Your particular path--your passion--is to walk as closely to Source as you are aware. To make/have/live in as many enlightened moments as possible.

For a lot of us, those moments are rare. For a lot of us, we don't put that name to them--we're just living what makes the most sense to us and we feel good about it. Picasso may not have been aware that he connected to the divine every time he put brush to paint, but do you think he was painting because he wanted to be doing something else?

Let the beauty you love be what you do...bring a sense of sacred to the things that matter most to you. Your grand passion might be raising a child to be a compassionate warrior; it might be raising yourself to be one. It might be art, or music, or making sure the world-as-we-know-it runs smoothly and that your pleasure is showing others how to have fun.

The path is the practice.

"This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet.” (Rumi)

Reminder

2010-01-04T05:37:00.001-05:00

Short-n-sweet reminder: everything I need is here.

Happy New Year!

2010-01-01T08:55:00.000-05:00

Let's talk about passion for a minute.

In the tarot, the suit of wands or staffs represents fire (yes, to some of you it represents air, but if that's the case, pretend I just wrote "swords"). One of the areas the suit addresses when you get the cards in a reading is "career." To me, though, this isn't just about the job--about what you get up and do every day. It's really about why you do it. Your passion.

In some cases, the "why" might be as simple as a desire to keep clothes on your body, food in your belly, and a roof over your head, to whatever degree it's possible. Not all of us are working jobs we love for great rewards (volunteer at a homeless shelter sometime if you want to see bare-survival as a passion). But whatever it is, whatever drives us, THAT is the reason we do what we do, or dream of doing something different.

Make this the year your passion makes a difference.

If you are already living your passion 24/7/365 -- great. This is the year you'll see it blossom into something foundational. I really believe that. For those who've been letting their passion slide, I think this is the year it's going to become a conscious choice--do I keep doing what I've been doing or do I make the leap of faith?

I'm not saying that if you're an accountant who wants to be a musician that you should quit your job and go on the road with guitar in hand. I mean, do it if you want, but a leap of faith does not necessarily mean cutting all ties to what you've got going on (although we somehow always feel that way). A leap of faith to embrace our passions is based on just a couple of things: one, to make a complete fool of ourselves (in this case, the holy fool, a la the fool card from the tarot, which is all about starting that new journey); two, to want it so badly that even if you're wrong, you win. Or maybe it's about being willing to want it that much. Too often we let being afraid of being hurt hold us back--not just in human relationships, but in becoming our fullest selves.

If you've always dreamed of being a musician, and don't do it, what's holding you back from it? Being a lousy musician? Nope. Bad reason. Really, just turn on the radio sometime ... be willing to find out you can't do it. Be willing to throw yourself so fully into the love of it, that in the end, it doesn't matter whether you win awards, get contracts, or even get out of the shower. Want to climb mountains? (I do, and I've been using this as an example a LOT lately, which tells me this might be the year to suck it up and give it a go.) Maybe you--maybe I--find that really short hills are all that's possible. But you know what? If you don't try, you aren't being your truest self, and THAT -- that ALONE -- is what matters.

NPR used to do this series called "This I Believe." I loved listening to it. My manifesto is probably pretty short--but this is what I believe: It is through being our truest selves, no matter what, that we will evolve. It's scary, perhaps, it's hard, absolutely; but it's exhilarating--how can it not be?--and if we are to evolve, spiritually, it is what we must do.

And on that note...

2009-12-31T07:02:00.000-05:00

Nothing quite like jumping from a post on visualizing your life, to life taking over! My apologies if you've popped over here looking for me, only to find stuff you've read a hundred times and really didn't need to see again.

I was going to start back up with a post on inspiration and goals--you know, just why DO we do this NYR thing--but a shock yesterday compels me to do something different.

A friend died.

That sort of thing, especially when it's unexpected, tends to throw what I believe about the eternal cycle into sharp relief against the physical reality of life in this plane. Do I believe his spirit is out there (somewhere...forgive me for not being particularly eloquent, I'm still a little in shock) and that he will re-incarnate at a time and place of his soul's choosing? Or absorb into the great Everything, and go on that way? Yeah, I do. And the fact that this person whom I'm used to seeing five days a week (I worked with him) suddenly isn't there any more doesn't change that.

But there's the physical reality. He's unlikely to haunt me, so I don't expect to see him in this human reality again. Did we have any unfinished business? Was I kind enough? Did I smile and laugh at his jokes when he needed me to? Was I consistently myself, did I do irreparable harm? I'm not saying I had any real reason to be concerned about these things, but this did cross my mind: that if these are the questions we ask when a friend passes, then these are the questions that should be foremost in our lives.

A new way to visualize

2009-11-25T09:37:00.000-05:00

Can you imagine the life of your dreams? Even if you're already living it (or most of it).

I've found that two "obstacles" emerge when I've asked this question in classes. First, people will say they can't visualize. Interestingly, I've gotten this response fewer times as the years go by, so either people are more used to visualizing or they're afraid to say they can't. But of course, 99.9% of us can visualize (that's not a real statistic, don't try to look it up); we do it all the time--when we go to a movie and complain it wasn't like the book; when we give someone directions...etc.

Picturing is easy.

The second obstacle--and I think the more important one--is being unable to get past the picture into the feeling. If you've never been successful, how do you know how success feels? If you've never been loved (or think you may have the wrong idea about what it means), how do you know what it feels like to be in a healthy relationship? To have the job, the car, the mundane trappings (interesting word, that) of your dreams? For that matter, the spiritual life?

Try this: imagine the intangible characteristics of that life. My ideal life--my sane life--has these characteristics: I am independent, secure, creative, joyful, fearless (except snakes; I don't mind holding on to some phobias, really. And airplanes. They are for going places in, not jumping out of. For me. You, you can do that differently.). And so on.

So when you imagine your dream home, don't just put the picture in your head. Put the characteristics of what that space brings to your life into the picture as well. In my dream home, I have room for books, and yoga, and a kitchen for creating healthy meals, and....and so on. Beyond what I really want the house to look like (I have a fondness for Arts and Crafts architecture, Mission and Shaker furniture, and hand thrown pottery, but not in excess), I want a home that inspires me to creative heights, with lots of light and the room for books is important because it keeps me focused on learning and writing and doing instead of on the clutter of stacking books on the floor or packing them away in closets (that's probably bad feng shui, too). And a bright and shiny kitchen so I'll spend time in it and enjoy it ... I love feeling creative when I cook.

Want a new car? Why? For safe and reliable transportation to work? To take meandering Sunday drives to explore and feed your adventurous spirit?

The question isn't just "what does my life look like," but "what does my life feel like?"

The things we do

2009-11-22T15:01:00.000-05:00

I was talking last week to a friend about my plans for a mini-garden, and he shared with me what his wife had done around their house--and how the garden drew in birds and butterflies (an unintended consequence). He closed with "can you imagine if everyone in the world planted a real garden?"

The last couple of novels I've been indulging in have been of the "this is the only person who can save the world" type. Combined with the question above, this week's influences led me to this question of my own: can you imagine if everyone in the world acted as though the balance of good and evil rested on their shoulders?

I don't mean in a guilt-inducing way, of course. But on the general premise that we ought to be as awake and aware in our lives as possible, what if we treated our lives as the deciding factor in how it all turns out? If I, and I alone, were the tipping point in spiritual evolution, in mundane and spiritual sanity. If everything I did had an impact I could measure.

The World We Dream

2009-11-18T09:25:00.000-05:00

"When you look at the world we humans have created you may conclude that it was created by sleeping people, because awake, aware, conscious people would manifest a very different world. We have entered one of the most important periods in human history...We have the opportunity to lift ourselves to new levels of consciousness." -- John Perkins, founder of DreamChange (http://www.dreamchange.org/).

Reading: The World is as You Dream It, by John Perkins. Interesting, interesting man.

New plans and no plans

2009-11-14T09:14:00.000-05:00

It occurred to me this morning that the new house has a closed in porch that faces east (as well as one that faces south, and one that faces north--it's a very porch-y house), which may mean that I can grow more than herbs and sprouts. I'm thinking things like heirloom strains of tomatoes, beans, and other fruits/veggies--just a pot or two of each, nothing past my ability to keep up with. And if I stagger the planting, I may be able to create a mini garden that lasts for months.

I was just reading about the "doomsday" seed vault in Norway--a structure that houses seeds in an ultra-secure, very cold (zero degrees) environment. The same book mentioned the loss of diversity in food crops over the past 100 years. A friend recently mentioned an article she'd read on recovery (after athletic events) that suggested our bodies are stronger, healthier, and more adaptable/resilient when we eat a wider variety of foods. I'm also thinking that even in pots, a small garden can not only broaden the array of foods I eat, but also give me more "local" foods (I assume it counts as local if you grow them yourself!), and possibly even give me more interesting and tasty foods without raising my grocery bill (heirloom seeds, pots, soil...not necessary cheap). I'm not much of a gardener, but it's worth a try, right?

So those are my new plans. My no plans? It's a busy day--helping a friend with some editing, doing a card reading, meditation circle (after WEEKS of being absent) ... but it is absolutely gorgeous outside--the kind of weather that makes you grateful for things you don't even know about, so C and I may bag some of the editing and hang out at the park. Absorb some sun and air and green ... worship at the altar of life.

Fiscal Sanity: putting your money where your mouth is

2009-11-12T06:35:00.000-05:00

Do you spend according to your values?

For me, this is a hard one--my perceived needs and resources don't always match up to what I know, deep down, is the right way for me to live. Depending on what your stated values are, what your "fiscal sanity" is, I think it's possible to run smack up against real life and have to compromise.

Good thing "all things in moderation" is one of my values.

I've mentioned local food before--eating local is one way that certain values of mine can definitely play out. But around here? Hard to manage, at least with any ease. One farmers market that features local "stuff" runs on a weeknight, one I'm already too busy on. CSAs, frankly, are beyond my budget--and there's the real rub. Sometimes, doing the right thing requires resources we don't really have. Garden? Not possible, at least not right now. One thing I'm looking forward to after I move next month is that I'll be in a place with more light, which means I can at least grow herbs and make my own sprouts.

Commuting to work. I don't think my hometown is the worst example of public transportation, but it might be close. Buses can take hours to commute by, but since I work less than ten miles from where I live, my impact isn't as bad as it could be...but it isn't zero.

Then there's debt, a topic I've definitely brought up before. I want to be debt free so badly I can taste it...but how to manage that is another matter. With the high cost of housing and transportation, and the high cost of eating right, paying for my past experiences (a nicer word than mistakes, don't you think?) is taking much longer than I'd like. Still, except for student loans, it's likely I'll be debt free in a few years. Sooner would be better.

So there's the question of the day: knowing what you know about your life, your values, your style of sanity, how does your financial picture stack up, and how can you improve it?

Our wisdom

2009-11-09T07:30:00.000-05:00

Why do we have such a difficult time accepting wisdom? Leave a teaching around long enough, to be found by enough people, and it's accepted (almost) without question. But uncover or voice it for the first time and we often seem in a hurry to bury it in a pit someplace until it's dusty enough to trust.

I quote other people a lot. Not that I don't think of these things myself, but I generally feel like if it's just coming from me, maybe it isn't all that wise. Or take the Desiderata. I read someplace that it was written in the last century (the 20th, of course) and that its author made up the story about finding this centuries-old document. And yet, the words are beautiful and the teachings even more so.

I wonder what would happen if we all accepted ourselves as innately wise, as teachers as well as students.

The rest of the Secret

2009-11-08T09:07:00.000-05:00

In Wicca, they teach that the greatest mystery of all is there is no mystery.

There is only discovery, being, (sometimes) doing. The trick is to keep those in balance. We get so busy "doing" we forget to be, and we get so busy discovering (usually intellectually) we forget to "do."

The rest of the Secret is this: thought must be followed by action. It won't -- most of the time, at least -- manifest on its own. Thought leading to intention (which is will applied to imagination) followed by observation (of opportunity, for example) will inevitably lead to action, and thus to manifestation. You can affirm all you want that you'll win the lottery, but if you don't buy a ticket....

It's like the old joke about the very pious man who got caught in a massive flood, and as the waters climbed higher, so did he, until at last he was sitting on the roof, affirming his faith in God. Two men in a boat came by, then another, then a helicopter, and to each he responded "go, help others, God will save me." Finally he was swept away by the waters and drowned. When he reached the Pearly Gates, he asked God, "why didn't you save me? I trusted, believed in you, affirmed my faith."

God's response? "I sent you two boats and a helicopter. What more did you want?"